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Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v.1

Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 1
These days people are touring more than they did in the past. The primary reason for this is cheap flight rates and the main advantage they get by travelling is relaxation from the chores. Nowadays, the public are showing more interest in visiting places because of the reduced prices of flights. That is to say, Airbus companies come up with regular deals and discounts for tourist locations and also provide free accommodation with meals at their motels. As a result, more people will be motivated to travel because they had to spend very little on expenses incurred during the travel. For example, British Airways offers cheap packages to certain destinations such as the UK and Bali, every year during the Christmas season resulting in 20% increase in the rush at airports. The main benefit people get is leisure and relaxation from performing their daily routine. In other words, they often go through tremendous stress at work to meet the deadlines and they get motivated to take time off to travel. They utilise these break days to visit their families and places of interest by which they revive and feel refreshed. For instance, last year we went to my mother's village located in the outskirts of the city to spend our quality time in meeting family members and enjoying the nature to energise ourselves from the routine activities. To conclude, more people are travelling today because of the less cost of flying and the primary advantage people get is fun and relaxation from regular life. It is predicted that there will be 40% more travellers by the end of 2020.
These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are touring more than they did in the past. The primary reason for this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
flight rates and the main advantage they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by travelling is relaxation from the chores.

Nowadays, the public are showing more interest in visiting places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
prices of flights.
That is
to say, Airbus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with regular deals and discounts for tourist locations and
also
provide free accommodation with meals at their motels.
As a result
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be motivated
to travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
on expenses incurred during the travel.
For example
, British Airways offers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
packages to certain destinations such as the UK and Bali, every year during the Christmas season resulting in 20% increase in the rush at airports.

The main benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
is leisure and relaxation from performing their daily routine.
In other words
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go through tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
at work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
deadlines and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated to take time off to travel.

They
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
these break days to visit their families and places of
In English, people don't say "interest by'. They say, "interest in'. Did you mean "interest in"?
interest by
which they revive and feel refreshed.
For instance
, last year we went to my mother's village located in the outskirts of the city to spend our quality time in meeting family members and enjoying the nature to
Possible spelling mistake. 'energise' is British English.
energise
ourselves from the routine activities.

To conclude
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are travelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the less cost of flying and the primary advantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
is fun and relaxation from regular life. It
is predicted
that there will be 40% more
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2020.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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