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It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do v.12

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. 12
Some people believe that technological developments lead to the loss of traditional cultures. I partly agree with this assertion; while it may be true in the case of some societies, others seem to be unaffected by technology and the modern world. On the one hand, the advances in technology that have driven industrialisation in developed countries have certainly contributed to the disappearance of traditional ways of life. For example, in pre-industrial Britain, generations of families grew up in the same small village communities. These communities had a strong sense of identity, due to their shared customs and beliefs. However, developments in transport, communications and manufacturing led to the dispersal of families and village communities as people moved to the cities in search of work. Nowadays most British villages are inhabited by commuters, many of whom do not know their closest neighbours. On the other hand, in some parts of the world traditional cultures still thrive. There are tribes in the Amazon Rainforest, for example, that have been completely untouched by the technological developments of the developed world. These tribal communities continue to hunt and gather food from the forest, and traditional skills are passed on to children by parents and elders. Other traditional cultures, such as farming communities in parts of Africa, are embracing communications technologies. Mobile phones give farmers access to information, from weather predictions to market prices, which helps them to prosper and therefore supports their culture. In conclusion, many traditional ways of life have been lost as a result of advances in technology, but other traditional communities have survived and even flourished.
Some
people
believe that technological developments lead to the loss of
traditional
cultures. I partly
agree
with this assertion; while it may be true in the case of
some
societies, others seem to
be unaffected
by
technology
and the modern world.

On the one hand, the advances in
technology
that have driven
industrialisation
in
developed countries
have
certainly
contributed to the disappearance of
traditional
ways of life.
For example
, in
pre-industrial
Britain, generations of families grew up in the same
small
village
communities
. These
communities
had a strong sense of identity, due to their shared customs and beliefs.
However
, developments in transport, communications and manufacturing led to the dispersal of families and village
communities
as
people
moved
to the cities in search of work. Nowadays most British villages
are inhabited
by commuters,
many
of whom do not know their closest
neighbours
.

On the
other
hand, in
some
parts of the world
traditional
cultures
still
thrive. There are tribes in the Amazon Rainforest,
for example
, that have been completely untouched by the technological developments of the developed world. These tribal
communities
continue to hunt and gather food from the forest, and
traditional
skills
are passed
on to children by parents and elders.
Other
traditional
cultures, such as farming
communities
in parts of Africa, are embracing communications
technologies
. Mobile phones give farmers access to information, from weather predictions to market prices, which
helps
them to prosper and
therefore
supports their culture.

In conclusion
,
many
traditional
ways of life have
been lost
as a result
of advances in
technology
,
but
other
traditional
communities
have survived and even flourished.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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