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Today, nation develops rapidly, and family’s breakdown into small family units/ individuals who live alone. What are the causes and what are its effect on society?

Today, nation develops rapidly, and family’s breakdown into small family units/ individuals who live alone. What are the causes and what are its effect on society? G3YXQ
With the domestic development becoming inrcreasingly dramatic, it has become trendier when extended families are divided into nuclear families or family members just live by themselves. This essay will dicuss the main causes of this trend and describe about its positive effect on society. There are several reasons why numerous people prefer living in small family units or living alone. Firstly, some individuals found that living with their other relatives result in losing their freedom. In fact, they have to obey all things that the older generations tell them to do, which sometimes make the youngers feel uncomfortable. Furthermore, the offsprings in those families may have a sense of being tied up and have to be on the best behavior all the time. Secondly, few people enjoy the quiet and private space which is rarely provided by extended families. In particular, individuals struggle to concentrate on work or study and easily be distracted by other members’ work On the other hand, this trend benefits members in nuclear families or individuals who live alone. Initially, parents become more consistent in educating their child. In fact, parents can follow a modern method to nurture their children and they do not have to obey the traditional one from grandparents which might be out of date and have detrimental effects on children’s growth. Secondly, living alone provide individuals an independent financial source. Basically, people who live alone do not require to share or distribute what they earn to others than their choosing unless they want to take care of their parents. In conclunsion, this trend has many positives effects which is mainly caused from theỉr desire to live without any bindings from other people.
With the domestic development becoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
inrcreasingly
dramatic, it has become trendier when extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are divided
into nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by themselves. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicuss
the main causes of this trend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
about its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on society.

There are several reasons why numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
units or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
relatives result in losing their freedom. In fact, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
obey all things that the older generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them to do, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
feel uncomfortable.
Furthermore
, the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
may have a sense of
being tied
up and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be on the best behavior all the time.
Secondly
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy the quiet and private space which is rarely provided by extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
struggle to concentrate on work or study and
easily
be distracted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members’ work

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, this trend benefits members in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
.
Initially
, parents become more consistent in educating their child. In fact, parents can follow a modern method to nurture their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
obey the traditional one from grandparents which might be out of date and have detrimental effects on children’s growth.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
an independent financial source.
Basically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
do not require
Did you mean "sharing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to share
or distribute what they earn to others than their choosing unless they want to take care of their parents.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conclunsion
, this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
positives effects which is
mainly
caused from
Possible spelling mistake found.
theỉr
desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without any bindings from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Today, nation develops rapidly, and family’s breakdown into small family units/ individuals who live alone. What are the causes and what are its effect on society?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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