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The life of a famous person I admire.

The life of a famous person I admire. J3dXa
To begin with, everyone likes watching films whether they do it alone, or with a beloved person, or together with a family on a cosy Friday evening. But still, the most necessary thing is the atmosphere. It is created by a company, a genre of a film and, sure thing, by actors’ play. People see actors just like their roles require, but in reality they are different. Today I would like to tell about the wonderful actor and versatile person with the roots from China. His name is Jackie Chan. Well, speaking about his appearance I can say that he is quite attractive and full of positive emotions person. Now he is 67 years old. Although he has some problems with the health he is still the same young Jackie Chan that we remember from films. Notwithstanding that he is not the tall person he has managed to make a great career as an actor. He has narrow (especially when he smiles) hazel eyes, dark and short hair. His lips are neither so full nor thin. His eyebrows are rather visible, so not thin. As for clothes, he prefers wear simple jeans with T-shirt or shirt every day. But when it is a great event he doesn’t mind to wear a sumptuous tuxedo. Besides, he expresses positive vibes, as he always smiles. Altogether, Jackie has a pleasant appearance for sure. Moreover, there are some features of his character that impress me. Firstly, he is not just an actor. He is also a film director, a producer and a singer. It means that he doesn’t sit on one place, he moves with time and works on his development. Secondly, he is a healer, and is capable of giving comfort to those in need - he will frequently offer a shoulder for others to cry on. Thirdly, he thinks that mission in life was to develop the tools that allow him to be truly helpful to others rather than just a sympathetic ear. In addition, he possesses the traits of bravery, due to the fact that almost all his tricks he performs himself. Undoubtedly, he is responsible, easy-going and communicative person. By the way, in 1997, Jackie Chan created a comic book called Spartan X, inspired by his character from the 1986 movie Armour of God. That was only his first time being transferred into ink. Jackie Chan Adventures, his animated series on WB (now The CW) in which he voiced a fictionalized version of himself. In conclusion, I admire Jackie Chan not just because of his great films, but also for his personality. Since he doesn’t give up and encourages other people to continue work hard in order to get needed results. Obviously, he is a person with a big heart, as he is always eager to help everyone. So, he inspires me to develop my skills in different spheres and stick to my aim.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, everyone likes watching films whether they do it alone, or with a beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, or together with a family on a
Possible spelling mistake. 'cosy' is British English.
cosy
Friday evening.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
still
, the most necessary thing is the atmosphere. It
is created
by a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, a genre of a film and, sure thing, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors’
play.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like their roles require,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in reality they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about the wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actor
and versatile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with the roots from China. His name is Jackie Chan.

Well, speaking about his appearance I can say that he is quite attractive and full of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "emotions'" or "emotion's"?
emotions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
he is 67 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
he has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with the health he is
still
the same young Jackie Chan that we remember from films. Notwithstanding that he is not the tall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
he has managed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great career as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actor
. He has narrow (
especially
when he smiles) hazel eyes, dark and short hair. His lips are neither
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
full nor thin. His eyebrows are
rather
visible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
not thin. As for clothes, he prefers wear simple jeans with T-shirt or shirt every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when it is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
he doesn’t
The verb 'mind' is used with the gerund form: "mind wearing".
mind to wear
a sumptuous tuxedo.
Besides
, he expresses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
vibes, as he always smiles. Altogether, Jackie has a pleasant appearance for sure.

Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
features of his character that impress me.
Firstly
, he is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actor
. He is
also
a film director, a producer and a singer. It means that he doesn’t sit on one place, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
with time and works on his development.
Secondly
, he is a healer, and is capable of giving comfort to those in need
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
he will
frequently
offer a shoulder for others to cry on.
Thirdly
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that mission in life was to develop the tools that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
him to be
truly
helpful to others
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a sympathetic ear.
In addition
, he possesses the traits of bravery, due to the fact that almost all his tricks he performs himself.
Undoubtedly
, he is responsible, easy-going and communicative person.

By the way, in 1997, Jackie Chan created a comic book called Spartan X, inspired by his character from the 1986 movie Armour of God. That was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
his
first
time
being transferred
into ink. Jackie Chan Adventures, his animated series on WB (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
The CW) in which he voiced a fictionalized version of himself.

In conclusion
, I admire Jackie Chan not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his great films,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for his personality. Since he doesn’t give up and encourages other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to continue work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
needed results.
Obviously
, he is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
heart, as he is always eager to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everyone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he inspires me to develop my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
spheres and stick to my aim.
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IELTS essay The life of a famous person I admire.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
484 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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