Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development? v.5

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? v. 5
The more human beings engage with modern life, the more their lifestyles change rapidly. The fact that people are having a baby at their thirties is undeniable. While some assert that this is a positive trend, I believe that this comes with some drawbacks for many compelling reasons. To begin with, the age difference between parents and children brings problems and conflicts. Simply put, being thirty years or older than the children, parents cannot understand the feeling of their kids. Take a teenager as an example, who used to listen to trance music; if he wanted to listen to music loudly, their parent would likely to argue with him as they may not tolerate the noise. These kinds of arguments, eventually, would take its toll on the relationship between parents and their children. Yet another rationale, justification is that as individuals involved with the day to day life, their energy and concentration of their families would decrease. That is when ones are young not only they have more energy, but also they have more free time to allocate to their families. In contrast, when getting older, individuals engage with their jobs and spend time for their children would be much more difficult. Therefore, having less time for your children could have a far-reaching negative impact on the children psychologically. To sum up, based on the reasons mentioned above, having a birth at older ages would have serious repercussions on people’s lives. If these problems were not addressed at the right time, it might cause perennial problems such as insomnia, and depression both for parents and their children.
The more human beings engage with modern life, the more their lifestyles
change
rapidly
. The fact that
people
are having a baby at their thirties is undeniable. While
some
assert that this is a
positive
trend, I believe that this
comes
with
some
drawbacks for
many
compelling reasons.

To
begin
with, the age difference between
parents
and
children
brings problems and conflicts.
Simply
put, being thirty years or older than the
children
,
parents
cannot understand the feeling of their kids. Take a
teenager
as an example, who
used
to listen to trance music; if he wanted to listen to music
loudly
, their
parent
would likely to argue with him as they may not tolerate the noise. These kinds of arguments,
eventually
, would take its toll on the relationship between
parents
and their children.

Yet
another rationale, justification is that as individuals involved with the
day to day
life, their energy and concentration of their families would decrease.
That is
when ones are young not
only
they have more energy,
but
also
they have more free
time
to allocate to their families.
In contrast
, when getting older, individuals engage with their jobs and spend
time
for their
children
would be much more difficult.
Therefore
, having less
time
for your
children
could have a far-reaching
negative
impact on the
children
psychologically
.

To sum up, based on the reasons mentioned above, having a birth at older ages would have serious repercussions on
people
’s
lives
. If these problems were not addressed at the right
time
, it might cause perennial problems such as insomnia, and depression both for
parents
and their
children
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts