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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What are the causes this? What are main effects of this epidemics

It is true that nowadays the number of overweight people is increasing. I will explain why we are faced with this issue and i will give some consequences of this problem in this essay. In mu opinion, the main reason of obesity would be humans' lifestyles. Due to fast lifestyle most people require food to be ready in a few minutes, so they opt for pre-processed food, pre-cooked meals which contains a lot of preservatives. Furthermore, individuals are consuming too much junk food which includes the amount of fat, sugar in fact of eating healthy food. There are some solutions which could be implemented to deal with these root causes of obesity. The first way is that the person need to inculate healthy eating habits from childhood, their parents should control meals and ensure that they have a healthy diet. Another measures belonging to this is that health organisations, doctors should educate people about value of the nutritional food, especially more vegetables and fruits. Additionally, humans should do some physical exercises in order to dicrease amount of fat. In conclusion, it is possible to reduce the number of obesity with some certain ways
It is true that nowadays the number of overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is increasing. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why we
are faced
with this issue and
Did you mean “I”?
i
will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consequences of this problem in this essay. In mu opinion, the main reason of obesity would be humans' lifestyles. Due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
lifestyle most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to be ready in a few minutes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they opt for
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, pre-cooked meals which contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
preservatives.
Furthermore
, individuals are consuming too much junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which includes the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, sugar in fact of eating healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions which could
be implemented
to deal with these root causes of obesity. The
first
way is that the person need to
Possible spelling mistake found.
inculate
healthy eating habits from childhood, their parents should control meals and ensure that they have a healthy diet. Another measures belonging to this is that health
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisations’ is British English.
organisations
, doctors should educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about value of the nutritional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
especially
more vegetables and fruits.
Additionally
, humans should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical exercises in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicrease
amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
In conclusion
, it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of obesity with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
ways
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IELTS essay Today more people are overweight than ever before. What are the causes this? What are main effects of this epidemics

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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