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some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some infomation is too important or too valueable to be shared freely.

Knowledge increases when it is shared and, hence some people believe that scientific, academic, business knowledge should be shared and on the other side others believe that vital information should be confidential. This essay will inform us with both these views. Nowadays, in 21st century there are so many new technologies that are coming up, which are based on the scientific research which were performed by scientist previously. For example, the theory of relativity which was found by Albert Einstein is now being used in rockets. On the other hand, knowledge sharing also has benefits in academics. For instance, when a student shares a specific book to other student due to which he or she performs well in academics, in return the student will also get some valuable knowledge. Knowledge sharing is also important in social life. For an instance, if parents shares good manners with their children that manners will get pass on to next generation. On the other hand, sharing too much information can be detrimental. For an instance, information related to the business of the company that is confidential should not be kept public, as it can be hacked by the rival companies. Information related to the research on nuclear weapons should be kept private because it can be hacked by other countries. Banks also have high cybersecurity algorithms due to which personal information related to customer cannot be hacked easily. To conclude, my opinion is neutral. It is extremely important to share knowledge regarding science, business, academics but on the other side it is also crucial to look after whether knowledge is not going into wrong hands.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
increases when it
is shared
and,
hence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that scientific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
, business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
should
be shared
and on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side others believe that vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be confidential. This essay will inform us with both these views.

Nowadays, in 21st century there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new technologies that are coming up, which
are based
on the scientific research which
were performed
by scientist previously.
For example
, the theory of relativity which
was found
by Albert Einstein is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in rockets. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
sharing
also
has benefits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
.
For instance
, when a student shares a specific book to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
student due to which he or she performs well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
, in return the student will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
sharing is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in social life. For an instance, if parents shares
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners with their children that manners will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pass on to
next
generation.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, sharing too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can be detrimental. For an instance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
related to the business of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that is
confidential should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
public, as it can
be hacked
by the rival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
related to the research on nuclear weapons should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
private
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
be hacked
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries. Banks
also
have high cybersecurity algorithms due to which personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
related to customer cannot
be hacked
easily
.

To conclude
, my opinion is neutral. It is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
regarding science, business,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side it is
also
crucial to look after whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is not going into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hands.
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IELTS essay some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some infomation is too important or too valueable to be shared freely.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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