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Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

It is widely believed that teenagers’ personalities are more related to their peers rather than their parents or teachers since, and this is an accurate preposition because at this age children spend more time and develop a more intimate relationship with friends. On the positive side, peers set plenty of good examples for each other. If teenagers are committed to do well at school or do their best in a sport then they can affect who around them to be more goal-oriented, as well. Observing others working hard to achieve their goals will definitely encourage teenagers to put more effort into their own target. Furthermore, peer pressure can provide a wider perspective of the world they are living in. The most efficient way to acquire knowledge and useful skills is to learn from the peers that they socialize with. On the other hand, it is undeniable that peer pressure can be a very destructive force. Some youngster will use extreme methods to defeat their classmates who are better than themselves. For instance, a student kills his roommate due to his grades. Moreover, the impact of peers can discourage adolescents from thinking independently. In some cases, they have to think and act the same as the group that they are in. Peer pressure leads young people to follow what their peers feel is right, resulting in a loss of independence in behaviour and thought. To sum up, in my opinion, peer pressure has more negative impacts, however, it can be beneficial in some cases to improve adolescents’ individual.
It is
widely
believed that
teenagers
’ personalities are more related to their
peers
rather
than their parents or teachers since, and this is an accurate preposition
because
at this age children spend more time and develop a more intimate relationship with friends.

On the
positive
side,
peers
set
plenty
of
good
examples for each other. If
teenagers
are committed
to do well at school or do their best in a sport then they can affect who around them to be more goal-oriented,
as well
. Observing others working
hard
to achieve their goals will definitely encourage
teenagers
to put more effort into their
own
target.
Furthermore
,
peer
pressure
can provide a wider perspective of the world they are living in. The most efficient way to acquire knowledge and useful
skills
is to learn from the
peers
that they socialize with.

On the other hand
, it is undeniable that
peer
pressure
can be a
very
destructive force.
Some
youngster will
use
extreme methods to defeat their classmates who are better than themselves.
For instance
, a student kills his roommate due to his grades.
Moreover
, the impact of
peers
can discourage adolescents from thinking
independently
. In
some
cases, they
have to
think
and act the same as the group that they are in.
Peer
pressure
leads young
people
to follow what their
peers
feel is right, resulting in a loss of independence in
behaviour
and
thought
.

To sum up, in my opinion,
peer
pressure
has more
negative
impacts,
however
, it can be beneficial in
some
cases to
improve
adolescents’ individual.
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IELTS essay Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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