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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What are the causes and effects of this epidemic?

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What are the causes and effects of this epidemic? GlYLo
Nowadays, most of the individuals have become overweight as compared to past time. This essay will not only examine the reasons behind this but also discuss the effects of this epidemic. To commence with, there are some causes of this. First and foremost is that inactive lifestyle. To be more precise, these days people rely on cars instead of walking. However in the earlier time young people did a lot of activities such as meditation, yoga and many more. Secondly, they eat unhealthy food items which contains too much fat and spices. To illustrate, about 50 percent of youngsters in europe give preference to eat junk food rather than homemade. Due to this masses today contain a lot of obesity. On the other hand, despite having reasons, it also have numerous adverse effects on physical health and loss of productivity. To explain it, if individuals eat fast food then they will face problems regarding health issues. Such as obesity, high blood pressure and many more. Moreover masses lose their productivity due to overweight and anxiety. They do not capable to do more work. For instance, people who contain a obesity do less work as compared to normal person. To conclude, although there are ample of reasons, the effects of this is more than reasons because of health problems and loss of productivity.
Nowadays, most of the individuals have become overweight as compared to
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
. This essay will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
examine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
discuss the effects of this epidemic.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes of this.
First
and foremost is that inactive lifestyle. To be more precise, these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rely on cars
instead
of walking.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in the earlier time young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
activities such as meditation, yoga and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Secondly
, they eat unhealthy food items which contains too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and spices. To illustrate, about 50 percent of youngsters in
Possible spelling mistake found.
europe
give preference to eat junk food
rather
than homemade. Due to
Did you mean "these"?
this
masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
obesity.

On the other hand
, despite having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, it
also
Did you mean "has"?
have
numerous adverse effects on physical health and loss of productivity. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, if individuals eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food then they will face problems regarding health issues. Such as obesity, high blood pressure and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
masses lose their productivity due to overweight and anxiety. They do not capable to do more work.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who contain
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
obesity do less work as compared to normal person.
To conclude
, although there are ample of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, the effects of this is more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of health problems and loss of productivity.
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IELTS essay Today more people are overweight than ever before. What are the causes and effects of this epidemic?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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