Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

achievement for many factors

achievement for many factors 2lORj
With the ever-present concern for achievements, many people are of the opinion that wealth or charming may be fundamental assets when it comes to triumph; however, I firmly oppose this point of view. Two sides of the debate would be discussed in this following essay. On the one hand, money and appearance could give an edge on achieving our desirable vacancies. As we are all human beings, our instinct has always been inclined to beauty; therefore, charming inevitably yields a prominent advantage. Take modeling as an example: the industry would probably opt for employees with attractiveness or uniqueness through their looks. Furthermore, as regards wealth, individuals may be able to take more risks, which is also one substantial factor attributed to success, if they have a sufficient amount of money to invest in their business. On the other hand, I believe that it is more significant for employers to be conscientious and determined. To begin with, studiousness would yield more experiences in interpersonal skills as well as dealing with problems of the field, which play an integral part in one's career. As a result, industriousness would pay big dividends in the long run. Moreover, a determination is an indicator for overcoming setbacks. Because of the fact that adversities are likely to occur in life, being bold would render goals more achievable. For instance, Nick Vujicic who is disabled without any limbs has successfully become a worldwide speaker and is even skillful in swimming owing to his conscientiousness and determination. In conclusion, there are many factors that attach to one's success; nevertheless, studiousness and determination are of great paramount.
With the ever-present concern for achievements,
many
people
are of the opinion that wealth or charming may be fundamental assets when it
comes
to triumph;
however
, I
firmly
oppose this point of view. Two sides of the debate would
be discussed
in this following essay.

On the one hand, money and appearance could give an edge on achieving our desirable vacancies. As we are all human beings, our instinct has always
been inclined
to beauty;
therefore
, charming
inevitably
yields a prominent advantage. Take modeling as an example: the industry would
probably
opt for employees with attractiveness or uniqueness through their looks.
Furthermore
, as regards wealth, individuals may be able to take more
risks
, which is
also
one substantial factor attributed to success, if they have a sufficient amount of money to invest in their business.

On the other hand
, I believe that it is more significant for employers to be conscientious and determined. To
begin
with, studiousness would yield more experiences in interpersonal
skills
as well
as dealing with problems of the field, which play an integral part in one's career.
As a result
, industriousness would pay
big
dividends in the long run.
Moreover
, a determination is an indicator for overcoming setbacks.
Because of the fact that
adversities are likely to occur in life, being bold would render goals more achievable.
For instance
, Nick
Vujicic
who
is disabled
without any limbs has
successfully
become a worldwide speaker and is even skillful in swimming owing to his conscientiousness and determination.

In conclusion
, there are
many
factors that attach to one's success;
nevertheless
, studiousness and determination are of great paramount.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay achievement for many factors

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic: