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Scientists believe that eating fast food is harmful to one’s health. Some people think that education can help them change that bad habit. Others, however, argue that education does not work. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Scientists believe that eating fast food is harmful to one’s health. Some people think that education can help them change that bad habit. Others, however, argue that education does not work. bDM2B
Nowadays junk food is spreading with very rapid pace in all over the world and it is becoming a significant issue in whole world. A number of people have their opinion that people should be aware about the detrimental effects of consuming fast food on their bodies through providing education but others think that education does not play vital role for eradicating this problem and I personally believe in the latter statement because of many reasons. I will discuss both view as well as my thinking in the subsequent paragraphs. First of all, consuming fast food on daily basis is not good for health and mostly this is the preferred by adults and children. The both age group should be educated about the harmful impact of fast food on their bodies. This information should be provided by the school authorities to the children by showing video graphics and images that how it effects the body organs. Different social sites, TV channels and newspaper are the sources for educating the young generation about this problem by pasting the images and uploading the videos of bad impact of eating fast food regularly because these are mostly in usage of young ones. On the other hand, there are numerous thinkers and I am one of those who think that this is just a wastage of time because education about this does not leave a great impact on people's mind as there are abundance of people who like to eat this food and they give much more preference to their taste rather than anything else and it is available in every street corner and it is prepared in less time as compared to other food so it is an Herculean task to make people understand about the dangerous effects of junk food. To conclude, no doubt, eating fast food is unhygienic for human beings and to make them understand that it should not consume everyday. it is also a too difficult task and everyone should get the pros and con's of this by oneself.
Nowadays junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is spreading with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapid pace in all over the world and it is becoming a significant issue in whole world. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be aware about the detrimental effects of consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on their bodies through providing education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that education does not play vital role for eradicating this problem and I
personally
believe in the latter statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. I will discuss both view
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
my thinking in the subsequent paragraphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on daily basis is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health and
mostly
this is the preferred by adults and children. The both age group should
be educated
about the harmful impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on their bodies. This information should
be provided
by the school authorities to the children by showing video graphics and images that how it effects the body organs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
social sites, TV channels and newspaper are the sources for educating the young generation about this problem by pasting the images and uploading the videos of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
regularly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are
mostly
in usage of young ones.

On the other hand
, there are numerous
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
thinkers and
I am one of those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a wastage of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
education about this does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a great impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind as there are abundance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who like to eat this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
food and
they give much more preference to their taste
rather
than anything else and it is available in every street corner and it
is prepared
in less time as compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
Herculean task to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effects of junk food.

To conclude
, no doubt, eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is unhygienic for human beings and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand that it should not consume
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
also
a too difficult task and everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the pros and con's of this by oneself.
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IELTS essay Scientists believe that eating fast food is harmful to one’s health. Some people think that education can help them change that bad habit. Others, however, argue that education does not work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Scientists believe that eating fast food is harmful to one’s health. Some people think that education can help them change that bad habit. Others, however, argue that education does not work. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.