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Today more people are overweight and ever before. What are the primary causes and effects

Today more people are overweight and ever before. What are the primary causes and effects 6dl58
Increasing number of people around the globe, has become a major concerning issue. Even do their working hours extend as compared to the past, but they start gaining weight because of sedentary lifestyle and eating habits. it has resulted in physical problems and low productivity. Having more office work, please physical activity leads to obesity. In other words, due to the advancements that do mental work more at office as well as home. As a result, debon less calories and consume more. beside that, electronic gadgets doesn't allow them to burn calories and lack of exercise, have led to this problem. Moreover, they not only eat and healthy but also inappropriately. As they like to order food from outside or professor processed food over healthy food, which is also a fat contributor. Fast food is one of the most preferable food by youngsters, which worsen their metabolism, since that's it all the time and do hardly any physical work. For instance, is study shown that 50% of the Europeans are suffered from this problem because of unhealthy diet. However, these effects are worsening, for it increases health issues, bete give them sir's and Rose chronic illnesses such as high BP, asthma and liver problems. Their diet badly affect the stomach and this food is hard to digest, which creates several stomach problems. Another effect can be seen on their productivity. Their energy level and capacity decreased as the body weight increased by the time. Nevertheless, they have problems in walking, owing to the this, they work in stress, which lessen their working speed and thus detect their proficiency. To illustrate, it's proven that a person with the wait struggles to complete a task as compared to do who has normal weight. Thereby obese people suffer from a lot of problems in their lives. To conclude, obesity rate increased by modern lifestyle and irregular eating habits, which creates physical elements and stress among them. they should be focus on their way of living and diet in order to loss weight.
Increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the globe, has become a major concerning issue. Even do their working hours extend as compared to the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of sedentary lifestyle and eating habits.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
has resulted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and low productivity.

Having more office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity leads to obesity.
In other words
, due to the advancements that do mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more at office
as well
as home.
As a result
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
debon
Did you mean "fewer calories"?
less calories
and consume more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
beside
that, electronic gadgets doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to burn calories and lack of exercise, have led to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Moreover
, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
eat and healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
inappropriately
. As they like to order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from outside or professor processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
over healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
contributor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is one of the most preferable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by youngsters, which worsen their metabolism, since that's it all the time and do hardly any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
, is study shown that 50% of the Europeans
are suffered
from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unhealthy diet.

However
, these effects are worsening, for it increases health issues,
Possible spelling mistake found.
bete
give them sir's and Rose chronic illnesses such as high BP, asthma and liver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Their diet
badly
affect the stomach and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to digest, which creates several stomach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Another effect can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on their productivity. Their energy level and capacity decreased as the body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
increased by the time.
Nevertheless
, they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in walking, owing to
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "the" or "this" is left.
the this
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, which lessen their working speed and
thus
detect their proficiency. To illustrate, it's proven that a person with the wait struggles to complete a task as compared to do who has normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
. Thereby obese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To conclude
, obesity rate increased by modern lifestyle and irregular eating habits, which creates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
elements and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
among them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
should be focus on their way of living and diet in order to loss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
.
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IELTS essay Today more people are overweight and ever before. What are the primary causes and effects

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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