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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. WHat are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. WHat are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? mpYN
It is considered Sahara desert is the largest desert in the world and many people travel for various reasons. Now a days many adventure seekers do love to visit exciting place, where the conditions are rough and look for thrilling sports and site scenering. The most popular advantage is, there are number of activities such as sandy condition sports for the tourists and main disadvantages would be the unbearable heat and everywhere it's nothing but sand without greenery. Many tourists travel across countries just to attend and take part in the sporting activities that the Sahara desert entertainment companies organises. It is considered more than 100, 000 people do visit the Sahara desert alone in one month, mainly for site scenering, sports, and other entertainments. Sand sports such as, drag racing, speed car racing and off-road driving are the most common in these large deserts and there and number of events organised in a term. It is said that the heat in a desert can be increasing for more than 50 degrees Celsius which is not bearable at all. The numbers are slowly decreasing day by day because of the heat condition and the difficulties that the people have to face, when the tourists visit. There are no drinking water sources available, it's sand everywhere and there is not much fun by visiting such places. The other disadvantage is the fact that desert is just sand all over, where there is no green at all. Unlikely to a forest where there is so many activities and site scenering to enjoy wild life, desert is considered a dead land. At times, surviving from a sand storm is also is a greatest achievement a human could get in them life span. Hence people do avoid visiting such places and travel elsewhere for their holidays. To conclude, people do travel a lot to some of the world's difficult conditioned place just for the thrilling adventure and site scenering, but it comes with many advantages and disadvantages. Sporting activities and considered a main advantage that the people would get but on the flip side the extreme weather condition which is the heat and it is been a dead land with only sand are the main disadvantages.
It
is considered
Sahara
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desert
is the largest
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desert
in the world and
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many
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for various reasons.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adventure seekers do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
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visit


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exciting
place, where the conditions are rough and look for thrilling
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sports
and site
Possible spelling mistake found.
scenering
. The most popular advantage is, there are number of
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activities
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such


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as
sandy
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condition
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sports
for the tourists and main disadvantages would be the unbearable heat and everywhere it's nothing
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but
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sand
without greenery.

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Many
tourists
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travel
across countries
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just
to attend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the sporting
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activities
that the Sahara
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desert
entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
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organises
. It
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is


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considered
more than 100, 000
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people
do visit the Sahara
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desert
alone in one month,
mainly
for site
Possible spelling mistake found.
scenering
,
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sports
, and other entertainments.
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Sand
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sports
such as,

drag racing, speed car racing and off-road driving are the most common in these large deserts and there and number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
in a term.

It
is said
that the heat in a
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desert
can be increasing for more than 50 degrees Celsius which is not bearable at all. The numbers are
slowly
decreasing day by
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
day


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because
of the
Did you mean "heart" (=muscular organ)?
heat
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condition
and the difficulties that the
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face, when the tourists visit. There are no drinking water sources available, it's
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sand


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everywhere
and there is not much fun by visiting such places.

The other
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disadvantage
is the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desert
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
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sand
all over, where there is no green at all. Unlikely to a forest where there is
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so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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activities
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
and


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site
Possible spelling mistake found.
scenering
to enjoy wild life,
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desert
is considered
a dead land. At times, surviving from a
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sand
storm is
also
is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
greatest achievement a human could
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get
in
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them


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life
span.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
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people
do avoid visiting such places and
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travel
elsewhere for their holidays.

To conclude
,
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people
do
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travel
a lot to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the world's difficult conditioned place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the thrilling adventure and site
Possible spelling mistake found.
scenering
,
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but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with
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many
advantages

and disadvantages. Sporting
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activities
and considered a main advantage that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the flip side the extreme weather
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condition
which is the heat

and it
is been
a dead land with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sand
are the main disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. WHat are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Essay
  American English
13 paragraphs
372 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
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  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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