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Children brought up in families with less money are better prepared for life than those from wealthy families.

Children brought up in families with less money are better prepared for life than those from wealthy families. R7rp
It is considered that children those are specifically raised in families those earn less money learn much how to deal with life rather than those who born in rich families. In my opinion, I agree with this statement. The primary reason is that the child learns the value of money who raised in poor family. He learns how to spend money in a productive way in order to fulfil his aspiration which he has in his life, in addition to this these children are not extravagant as rich children because they save money for their future and their family due to which they are very successful in their lives. It is particularly observed that these kids take higher position in businesses and politics because they always focus on their hard work which they have learned since the beginning of their lives. However, this key aspect is missing in especially in rich child because they get everything without putting much efforts, whereas the life was running very conveniently since birth due to which it makes them difficult to find solutions to deal with issues in their lives. Furthermore, the child who born in less rich family respect their family members a lot because they observed the hardship of their family members, furthermore they like to pay back their parents whatever they did for raising their child as child have affection with their parent. In conclusion, the child who specifically saw the poverty or difficulties due to lack of money put lot of efforts to achieve his aspiration and respect money. They have brief experience how to deal with life issue, whereas rich child suffers in these aspects.
It
is considered
that children those are
specifically
raised in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
those earn less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
learn much how to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
rather
than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
born in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

The primary reason is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
learns the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
raised in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. He learns how to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Consider replacing "in a productive way" with the adverb for "productive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a productive way
in order to fulfil his aspiration which he has in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
in addition
to this these children are not extravagant as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their future and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
due to which they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It is
particularly
observed that these kids take higher position in businesses and politics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they always focus on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work which they have learned since the beginning of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, this key aspect is missing in
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everything without putting
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
efforts, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
was running
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
conveniently
since birth due to which it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them difficult to find solutions to deal with issues in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
born in less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
respect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members a lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they observed the hardship of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members,
furthermore
they like to pay back their parents whatever they did for raising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
have affection with their parent.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
specifically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the poverty or difficulties due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
put
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
efforts to achieve his aspiration and respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They have brief experience how to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
issue, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
suffers in these aspects.
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IELTS essay Children brought up in families with less money are better prepared for life than those from wealthy families.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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