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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.38

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 38
It is highly debatable topic whether more railways should be built rather than roads. Although, the roads have many advantages, I strongly believe railways make more ease of life rather than roads. This essay is going to explain why the government should spend money on railways rather than roads and my opinion on it. Firstly, the railways sustains for a long time, durable, cheaper, faster, and efficient. Railways take a large number of people in one run as it has boogies. They go on their tracks, so no need of police men. They don't stop other than their stations, so, faster! Not only they reduce the number of accidents per year, but also cheaper mode of transportation. Furthermore, they consume electricity unlike petrol. Consequently, saves energy and healthy environment by curbing the pollution. They are the best way of transportation for the people. For example, lots of people can travel in one go, and travelling cost is also less. Secondly, railways are the fastest mode of transportation. Since, there is no traffic and they are on their own tracks. They can go on very long distances, and faster than any road vehicle. Nevertheless, if tracks are not maintained properly, it may cause huge damage and take people's life. For instance, if two trains are running on the same track, this may take the life of people, and no other train can run on it until repaired. Anyways, accidents can happen in any place. It has been observed that railways are the choice of most of the people. To conclude, this has been observed that railways are efficient and supporting railways will support the people. Hence, the government should work more on railways rather than roads. By doing this, the government can help people and itself.
It is
highly
debatable topic whether more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
should
be built
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. Although, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages, I
strongly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. This essay is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and my opinion on it.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
sustains for a long time, durable, cheaper, faster, and efficient.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railways
take
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in one run as it has boogies. They go on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no need of police
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. They don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
other than their stations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, faster! Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of accidents per year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
cheaper mode of transportation.
Furthermore
, they consume electricity unlike petrol.
Consequently
, saves energy and healthy environment by curbing the pollution. They are the best way of transportation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can travel in one go, and travelling cost is
also
less.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are the fastest mode of transportation. Since, there is no
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
traffic and
they are on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
. They can go on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long distances, and faster than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
vehicle.
Nevertheless
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
are not maintained
properly
, it may cause huge damage and take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
For instance
, if two trains are running on the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
track
, this may take the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and no other train can run on it until repaired. Anyways, accidents can happen in any place. It has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are the choice of most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, this has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are efficient and supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
will support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should work more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. By doing this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and itself.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 38

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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