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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for the tourists who visit such places. v.37

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for the tourists who visit such places. v. 37
Touring to places with difficult livable conditions has become very popular. Many people are visiting places like the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. It is important to travel well prepared for these adventurous journeys so they turn to be memorable and comfortable. There are various pros and cons for such tourists. The climatic conditions at places like Sahara desert or the Antarctic can be very severe, travelling to such places can give terrible experience if the trips are not properly planned. The biggest benefit of the visitors to such places is the expansion of the tourism industry. Because of the expansion, the travel destinations with severe conditions are available with all the comfort needed during the journey. Also, the tourism industry has already available plans that lets a new traveller prepare and there are no surprises during their journey. As a result, many first timers are confidently touring places with extreme cold or hot climate. In spite of the benefits, the tourists can have a bad experience if they are planning the trip themselves, with planning the trip themselves, they are bound to miss some important aspects like if its a hike, what route will they be taking or will there be help around whenever in need. Due to the extreme climatic conditions the under prepared travellers get an unsatisfying experience. In conclusion, as many are visiting places with difficult livable conditions, it is always beneficial to take advantage of the travel planners which can make the visit comfortable and memorable. Independent tourists may commit obvious mistakes and that may spoil their holiday.
Touring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with difficult livable conditions has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to travel
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well prepared
for these adventurous journeys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they turn to be memorable and comfortable. There are various pros and cons for such tourists.

The climatic conditions at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the Sahara desert".
like Sahara desert
or the Antarctic can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
severe, travelling to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can give terrible experience if the trips are not
properly
planned. The biggest benefit of the visitors to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is the expansion of the tourism industry.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the expansion, the travel destinations with severe conditions are available with all the comfort needed during the journey.
Also
, the tourism industry has already available plans that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
a new
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
prepare and there are no surprises during their journey.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
first
timers are
confidently
touring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with extreme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
or hot climate.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the benefits, the tourists can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experience if they are planning the trip themselves, with planning the trip themselves, they
are bound
to miss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects like if
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a hike, what route will they be taking or will there be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
around whenever in need. Due to the extreme climatic conditions the under prepared
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an unsatisfying experience.

In conclusion
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with difficult livable conditions, it is always beneficial to take advantage of the travel planners which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the visit comfortable and memorable. Independent tourists may commit obvious mistakes and that may spoil their holiday.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for the tourists who visit such places. v. 37

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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