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Immigration has a major impact on the society what are the main reason of immigration? to what consequences can it lead? v.1

Immigration has a major impact on the society what are the main reason of immigration? to what consequences can it lead? v. 1
All around the world, people are migrating to various countries become common due to different purposes and difficulties that they faced in their native country. This essay will discuss the major causes and effects of migration. Commonly, citizens around the world they are always seeking to provide the best life for their family and their self, therefore, they prefer to shift developed countries to utilize the wealthy life. The major reason for moving to the top countries for education and safety. When we see education in Australia, London, USA, it is maintaining a high standard compared with developing countries. Moreover, it will provide more job opportunities to lift up their ordinary lifestyle. For example, recent research revealed that humans living in countries such as Pakistan, Nepal, and Srilanka highly migrating to well-structured countries. Furthermore some politics, local issues cause for move. However, there are some drawbacks to immigration. Mainly the population will drastically increase in developed countries, as a result of this, it leads to some problems like less amount of space to live, job crisis for the native populations. Additionally, it will destroy the authentication of the country and also, it is a big threat to forming terrorism. For instance, due to the war in Afghanistan, a big number of refugees transferred to neighbor countries where next to their places, but some years later there was a big conflict occurred by citizens against refugees. To sum up, mobility to other countries will create the strong relationship among each and every individual, butmost of the time it will be steam for huge harmful impacts in society, therefore, it will vanish the growth of the nation.
All around the world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are migrating to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
become common due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes and difficulties that they faced in their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This essay will discuss the major causes and effects of migration.

Commonly
, citizens around the world they are always seeking to provide the best life for their family and their self,
therefore
, they prefer to shift developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to utilize the wealthy life. The major reason for moving to the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for education and safety. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
education in Australia, London, USA, it is maintaining a high standard compared with developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
, it will provide more job opportunities to
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "lift".
lift up
their ordinary lifestyle.
For example
, recent research revealed that humans living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Pakistan, Nepal, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Srilanka
highly
migrating to well-structured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politics, local issues cause for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to immigration.
Mainly
the population will
drastically
increase in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
as a result
of this, it leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems like less amount of space to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, job crisis for the native populations.
Additionally
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the authentication of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
also
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
threat to forming terrorism.
For instance
, due to the war in Afghanistan, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
number of refugees transferred to neighbor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where
next
to their places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years later there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
conflict occurred by citizens against refugees.

To sum up, mobility to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will create the strong relationship among each and every individual,
Possible spelling mistake found.
butmost
of the time it will be steam for huge harmful impacts in society,
therefore
, it will vanish the growth of the nation.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Immigration has a major impact on the society what are the main reason of immigration? to what consequences can it lead? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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