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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the sahara desert or the Antartic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.25

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the sahara desert or the Antartic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 25
Travelling to explore different places is one of the growing hobby of people. Certain travellers are willing to go to places where there are extreme weather conditions. It can be a fascinating journey for people who wants to test their ability to accomplish things. However, it can be an extremely dangerous trip that can get them into trouble. On the one hand, human beings have the propensity to carry out activities that are thrilling. It can be beneficial as these activities give us the pleasure of accomplishing things and helps us understand our potential. To elucidate, a famous novelist, Ripin Kaur visited the Sahara desert in 2017 to test his ability to achieve his impossible goals. He has written a book about his journey which indicates that this journey helped him in ameliorating his physical strength and confidence. On the other hand, extreme climate can be intimidating because of the threats it poses. People who are new in visiting these places will not be able to cope up with the situations as it can be arduous. Due to the hot weather in deserts, people can get thirsty, famished and even get lost. Besides, cold weather can cause alarming impact like freezing the blood, numbing the body and pneumonia. For example, Fara Fowler, a well-known YouTube star who records videos of the places he visits, died during his visit to Antartica because of the lower temperature. In conclusion, visiting places with strenuous conditions can be enthralling and helps us in understanding our potential. Nevertheless, it can cause serious problems which may result in loss of life.
Travelling to explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is one of the growing hobby of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Certain
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
are willing to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where there are extreme weather conditions. It can be a fascinating journey for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "want"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
wants
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
their ability to accomplish things.
However
, it can be an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
trip that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them into trouble.

On the one hand, human beings have the propensity to carry out activities that are thrilling. It can be beneficial as these activities give us the pleasure of accomplishing things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us understand our potential. To elucidate, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
novelist,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ripin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kaur
visited the Sahara desert in 2017 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
his ability to achieve his impossible goals. He has written a book about his journey which indicates that this journey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him in ameliorating his physical strength and confidence.

On the other hand
, extreme climate can be intimidating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the threats it poses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are new in visiting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
will not be able to cope up with the situations as it can be arduous. Due to the hot weather in deserts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
thirsty, famished and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lost.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather can cause alarming impact like freezing the blood, numbing the body and pneumonia.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fara
Fowler, a well-known YouTube star who records videos of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
he visits,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
during his visit to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Antartica
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lower temperature.

In conclusion
, visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with strenuous conditions can be enthralling and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us in understanding our potential.
Nevertheless
, it can cause serious problems which may result in loss of life.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the sahara desert or the Antartic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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