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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara and Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places. v.1

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara and Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places. v. 1
Due to the globalization and evolution of travel and tourism, enormous people are travelling every day. Surprisingly, their willingness to adventure unfavourable places is growing exponentially. This essay sheds some lights on the advantages and disadvantages of such interest. Firstly, Travelling to geographical adverse places is admired as thrilling and adventurous which comes with great cost and apparently it boosts the economy of that place. Such places are often remote or unexplored due to their unfavourable and underdeveloped habitat conditions. However, with the growing demands of tourism to such places, enhances the reachability and communications along with other needs eventually. For instance, once a deserted island – Hawaii is one of the most expensive yet popular tourist destinations. Thus, such places have their own advantage, of attracting people who can contribute in the growth and development of that place. On the other hand, to fulfil the demand of luxury, the facilitators go and extra mile and compromise with the health of the environment. To exemplify, The Maldives are known for their virgin kissed beaches, but many of them are drowning due to the growing demand of the tourists and the human waste produced by them. This not only enhances the load on the islands, but also, contribute to global warming to wash away many of its islands. Hence, limitless entry to such places disturbs the nature and encourages natural disasters such as Tsunami and super cyclones. In a nutshell, the diverse demands and interests are always welcomed by the tourism department to boost their own business. However, people should have sensible demands as tourists and moreover, it must be eco-friendly.
Due to the globalization and evolution of travel and tourism, enormous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are travelling every day.
Surprisingly
, their willingness to adventure
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is growing
exponentially
. This essay sheds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lights on the advantages and disadvantages of such interest.

Firstly
, Travelling to geographical adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is admired
as thrilling and adventurous which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with great cost and
apparently
it boosts the economy of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
remote or unexplored due to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
and underdeveloped habitat conditions.
However
, with the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
of tourism to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, enhances the
Possible spelling mistake found.
reachability
and communications along with other needs
eventually
.
For instance
, once a deserted island
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Hawaii is one of the most expensive
yet
popular tourist destinations.
Thus
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantage, of attracting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can contribute in the growth and development of that place.

On the other hand
, to fulfil the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
of luxury, the facilitators go and extra mile and compromise with the health of the environment. To exemplify, The Maldives
are known
for their virgin kissed beaches,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are drowning due to the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
of the tourists and the human waste produced by them. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhances the load on the islands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, contribute to global warming to wash away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of its islands.
Hence
, limitless entry to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
disturbs the nature and encourages natural disasters such as Tsunami and super cyclones.

In a nutshell, the diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
and interests are always welcomed by the tourism department to boost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should have sensible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
as tourists and
moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be eco-friendly.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara and Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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