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Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. v. 15
Some people prefer money over time, while others choose to have more free time and a small amount of money. While having more money might make people more satisfied, I believe that free time is necessary in people’s life because human’s body needs some rest in order to remain healthy. On the one hand, often less free time means more working, therefore, a higher income. This higher income makes some people feel fulfilled, which makes them lack leisure time. This is due to the fact that they believe that with this money they can meet their desire and buy whatever they want without taking some free time for themselves. For example, a study conducted by the Times showed that 65% of businessmen prefer to spend their time at work making money than at home relaxing. However, I believe that those people, after a period of time, will suffer from several diseases such as stress, anxiety or obesity. On the other hand, free time is more important for some people than money because they consider that human’s body seeks a rest. If men and women continue to work for money without taking some breaks, their bodies will be exhausted, which will lead to serious health problems. Therefore, some people prefer to be healthy than having money. For instance, research by the BBC revealed that 85% of people who take periodical holidays are less prone to cardiovascular issues. I believe that being in a good health with less money is more important. In conclusion, although with money people can be more pleased and do what they want, having leisure time to relax and rest means having a healthy life which is more important than money.
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Some
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people
prefer
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money
over
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time
, while others choose to have more
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free
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time
and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
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money
. While
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having
more
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money
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more satisfied, I
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believe
that
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free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is necessary in
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people’s
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
human’s body needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rest in order to remain healthy.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
means more working,
therefore
, a higher income. This higher income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel fulfilled, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them lack leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This is due to the fact that
they
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believe
that with this
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money
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their desire and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
whatever they want without taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves.
For example
, a study conducted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 65% of businessmen prefer to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at work making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than at home relaxing.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, after a period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, will suffer from several diseases such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, anxiety or obesity.

On the other hand
,
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free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is more
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important
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they consider that human’s body seeks a rest. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women continue to work for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
breaks, their bodies will
be exhausted
, which will lead to serious health problems.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to be
Use "healthier" to make a comparison with this adjective.
healthy
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, research by the BBC revealed that 85% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who take periodical holidays are less prone to cardiovascular issues. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that being in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In conclusion
, although with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
and do what they want,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to relax and rest means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a healthy life which is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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