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Today more and more people are using mobile phones and computers. Thus, people arelosing the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

Today more and more people are using mobile phones and computers. Thus, people arelosing the ability to communicate face to face. v. 6
What is the better thing to do when someone is stuck in a rut? Stay in it or leave it? Certain people believe that one should accept difficult circumstances, for example, when someone is not satisfied with their job. Others, on the other hand, hold the opposite idea, which is to fight and try to get out of an unpleasant situation and overcome that. I strongly agree with the latter group, and I believe that it is better for a person to try their best and overcome bad situations. Many people support this view that, however bad is the situation, it is better to put up with. Certainly there are some reasons behind their belief. For example, there are a large number of graduate students in different countries who accepted an underpaid work and try to keep up supporting that, since they have a fear of failure and new challenges. They believe that taking the risk of changing the current state would drain too much energy and causes stress and worse future. So these people always bear their living condition and just focus on their own survival. A different group, on the contrary, share the opinion that it is far better to try for changing the unfavourable situation and face the challenges in front of you. They believe that although there would be ups and downs in life, one can overcome them through continued effort. To be in such condition where people should fight and try hard to do their best to get out of it, would give them strength and valuable lessons to deal with other difficult situations in life. In conclusion, people have different views about how to handle an unfavourable situation. Some of them think that the best way is to accept the current situation, however, the other group believes that by making huge effort one can improve and make changes in life. I, personally, support the view of those who believe that people must never give up improving their lives, however bad the condition is.
What is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
thing to do when someone
is stuck
in a rut? Stay in it or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
it?

Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that one should accept difficult circumstances,
for example
, when someone is not satisfied with their job. Others, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, hold the opposite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, which is to fight and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of an unpleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and overcome that. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter group, and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for a person to try their best and overcome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support this view that,
however
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to put up with.
Certainly
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons behind their belief.
For example
, there are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
graduate students in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
an underpaid work and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up supporting that, since they have a fear of failure and new challenges. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that taking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of changing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
state would drain too much energy and causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and worse future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always bear their living condition and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
survival.

A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
group,
on the contrary
, share the opinion that it is far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to try for changing the
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and face the challenges in front of you. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that although there would be ups and downs in life, one can overcome them through continued effort. To be in such condition where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should fight and try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to do their best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of it, would give them strength and valuable lessons to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
in life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about how to handle an
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the best way is to accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that by making huge effort one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in life. I,
personally
, support the view of those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
never give up improving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
however
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
the condition is.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more people are using mobile phones and computers. Thus, people arelosing the ability to communicate face to face. v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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