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There is increase of noise in our daily lives nowadays. Why is this a problem? What can be done to reduce it? v.2

There is increase of noise in our daily lives nowadays. Why is this a problem? What can be done to reduce it? v. 2
The noise pollution is being increasingly witnessed these days. In this essay, I shall discuss the main reasons why our daily life can be adversely affected by this and suggest solutions to cope with this development. There are various compelling reasons why it has detrimental effects to human life and the prominent one is that it is harmful to the health of the individual, both mentally and physically as we couldn’t rest well in a noisy environment due to the machinery and factories, so it’s hard for us to concentrate on study and work which lead to less productive. Additionally, lack of rest can also lead to some severe diseases, such as heart disease and insomnia. For instance, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that nearly 80% of elders are suffering illnesses associated with noise pollution in recent years. For these reasons, increasing of noise in our life generates negative impacts to us. The solutions are not simple, but they do exist. In order to eradicate this problem, restricting the amount of vehicles on the street is critical as the growing amount of vehicles are worsening the noise pollution nowadays. In addition, people can put soundproof glasses on the window to reduce the negative effects of excessive noise. Take myself for example, we have soundproof glasses and walls in my house, so we are barely effected by the running cars at night. Therefore, these measures are essential for us to deal with the noise pollution. To sum up, the disadvantages associated with noise are ubiquitous nowadays. This essay discussed the main causes why this tendency is negative and suggested numerous solutions to tackle this issue.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
pollution is being
increasingly
witnessed these days. In this essay, I shall discuss the main reasons why our daily life can be
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this and suggest solutions to cope with this development.

There are various compelling reasons why it has detrimental effects to human life and the prominent one is that it is harmful to the health of the individual, both mentally and
physically
as we couldn’t rest well in a noisy environment due to the machinery and factories,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for us to concentrate on study and work which lead to less productive.
Additionally
, lack of rest can
also
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe diseases, such as heart disease and insomnia.
For instance
, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that
nearly
80% of elders are suffering illnesses associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
pollution in recent years. For these reasons, increasing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
in our life generates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts to us.

The solutions are not simple,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do exist. In order to eradicate this problem, restricting the amount of vehicles on the street is critical as the growing amount of vehicles
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
worsening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
pollution nowadays.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can put soundproof glasses on the window to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
. Take myself
for example
, we have soundproof glasses and walls in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we are
barely
effected by the running cars at night.
Therefore
, these measures are essential for us to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
pollution.

To sum up, the disadvantages associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
are ubiquitous nowadays. This essay discussed the main causes why this tendency is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and suggested numerous solutions to tackle this issue.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay There is increase of noise in our daily lives nowadays. Why is this a problem? What can be done to reduce it? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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