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Do you like the city you are living in now?

Do you like the city you are living in now? x87By
For me i think that, maybe yes but there are some issues that I need to consider while living in my city. Talking about the things I like about my city, it is impossible not to mention the development in all aspects here. Development in housing, employment, education, information technology, and more. This is very convenient for those who have just started a business and just moved to the city land to live. In addition, there will be more employment opportunities. Because in the city, the development is extremely fast and many large companies will need a lot of employees. Thus helping us to have more job opportunities and fewer unemployment cases. But there are also a few things that make me unhappy about the city I live in. Chief among them, the cost of living or finding housing is very expensive. For example, the cost of living will increase 4. 5 times compared to the cost of living in the countryside. Or need to find a good place to live, the price is certainly very high. Even in terms of food, drinks, tobacco products, and oils are more expensive in big cities. In addition, environmental pollution is a problem that everyone living in the city has to face. Because in cities, people use personal vehicles a lot, so the waste when discharged makes the environment more and more polluted.
For me
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, maybe yes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues that I need to consider while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in my city. Talking about the things I like about my city, it is impossible not to mention the development in all aspects here. Development in housing, employment, education, information technology, and more. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for those who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a business and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the city land to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
In addition
, there will be more employment opportunities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in the city, the development is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
employees.
Thus
helping us to have more job opportunities and fewer unemployment cases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
also
a few things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me unhappy about the city I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. Chief among them, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
or finding housing is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive.
For example
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
will increase 4. 5 times compared to the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the countryside. Or need to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, the price is
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high. Even in terms of food, drinks, tobacco products, and oils are more expensive in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
In addition
, environmental pollution is a problem that everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
personal vehicles a lot,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the waste when discharged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the environment more and more polluted.
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IELTS essay Do you like the city you are living in now?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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