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Some people think that movies or television can have a negative influence on young people’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that movies or television can have a negative influence on young people’s behaviour. with this statement? okAe3
In modern times, movies and television are very prevalent, they are gradually becoming necessary things in human’s life. However, some people suppose that movies or television can have an adverse impact on youngsters. From my point of view, I partly agree with this idea. On the one hand, it is true to say that movies and television are negative for adolescents. Firstly, movies and television can impact people’s thinking and action, specifically young people have been influenced the most. Without the controls of the parent, children can approach many harmful kinds of films such as violence or sexual movies, which results in bad behaviour. Secondly, movies and television can be an addictive factor for young people. They can spend a lot of time staying in front of the screen, and they cannot concentrate on their homeworks. Gradually, they do not want to communicate with others and become lazy. On the other hand, movies and televisions can be advantageous things, if they are used scientifically. Nowadays, there are many good television programs, so children and teenagers can learn many things from those programs. For example, “Who is the Millionaire” is now one of the most popular TV shows, youngsters can not only watch intelligent others compete, they can also gain knowledge and practical skills. Moreover, watching movies and television is the best way for many young people to relax and chill after hard-working times. If they choose what they watch selectively, they will watch meaningful films. For instance, “Doraemon”, a famous Japanese anime, contains many good messages about family love, and friendship. In conclusion, it can be argued that movies and television are a negative thing for adolescents' behaviour, but they can be a positive influence if they are used logically
In modern times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prevalent, they are
gradually
becoming necessary things in human’s life.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suppose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can have an adverse impact on youngsters. From my point of view, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

On the one hand, it is true to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
for adolescents.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
thinking and action,
specifically
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been influenced
the most. Without the controls of the parent, children can approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful kinds of films such as violence or sexual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, which results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can be an addictive factor for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They can spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time staying in front of the screen, and they cannot concentrate on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
.
Gradually
, they do not want to communicate with others and become lazy.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
can be advantageous things, if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
scientifically
. Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
programs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from those programs.
For example
, “Who is the Millionaire” is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
one of the most popular TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, youngsters can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
intelligent others compete, they can
also
gain knowledge and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is the best way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relax and chill after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working times. If they choose what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
selectively
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
meaningful films.
For instance
, “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Doraemon
”, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Japanese anime, contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
messages about family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, and friendship.

In conclusion
, it can
be argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thing for adolescents'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
logically
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IELTS essay Some people think that movies or television can have a negative influence on young people’s behaviour. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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