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Today, many people do not realize how important the natural world is. Why is this? How can people learn more about the importance of the natural world? v.1

Today, many people do not realize how important the natural world is. Why is this? How can people learn more about the importance of the natural world? v. 1
In this time and age, everything revolves around technology. Many believe that people already forgot the importance of living in a natural environment. This essay will discuss the possible reasons for this problem and the ways how to raise their awareness. Nowadays, it is quite impossible for people to live a life like we used to years ago due to invention of technology. Firstly, development of this leads us to have easier life. For example, washing clothes and cleaning the house can now be accomplished effortlessly with the help of washing machine and vacuum cleaners. In addition, more forms of indoor recreational activities were developed such as television, computers and mobile phones. The need to go outside to play games or to other meet people is diminished. As a result, numerous health problems arise such as Vitamin D deficiency due to lack of sunlight exposure and cardiovascular problems because of sedentary lifestyle. However, there are number of ways that can done to let people know why it is significant. Primarily, they can include this on student’s curriculum. Every student will have the knowledge regarding the issue. In addition, different forms of media such as television and internet can be used. Because information will reach a great number of people so it is more beneficial. They can inform them about the positive and negative effects of living in modern world. In conclusion, people should be aware about the significance of living the natural ways. There are several means to spread awareness such us media, internet and it can also be included in students’ study modules. As a result, health issues can be prevented.
In this time and age, everything revolves around technology.
Many
believe that
people
already forgot the importance of living in a natural environment. This essay will discuss the possible reasons for this problem and the ways how to raise their awareness.

Nowadays, it is quite impossible for
people
to
live
a life like we
used
to years ago due to invention of technology.
Firstly
, development of this leads us to have easier life.
For example
, washing clothes and cleaning the
house
can
now
be accomplished
effortlessly
with the
help
of washing machine and vacuum cleaners.
In addition
, more forms of indoor recreational activities
were developed
such as television, computers and mobile phones. The need to go outside to play games or to other
meet
people
is
diminished.
As a result
, numerous health problems arise such as
Vitamin D
deficiency due to lack of sunlight exposure and cardiovascular problems
because
of sedentary lifestyle.

However
, there are number of ways that can done to
let
people
know why it is significant.
Primarily
, they can include this on student’s curriculum. Every student will have the knowledge regarding the issue.
In addition
,
different
forms of media such as television and internet can be
used
.
Because
information will reach a great number of
people
so
it is more beneficial. They can inform them about the
positive
and
negative
effects of living in modern world.

In conclusion
,
people
should be aware about the significance of living the natural ways. There are several means to spread awareness such us media, internet and it can
also
be included
in students’ study modules.
As a result
, health issues can be
prevented
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, many people do not realize how important the natural world is. Why is this? How can people learn more about the importance of the natural world? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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