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Today, many people do not realize how important the natural world is. Why is this How can people learn more about the importance of the natural world? v.2

Today, many people do not realize how important the natural world is. Why is this How can people learn more about the importance of the natural world? v. 2
It goes without saying that nature provided the resources necessary for humans to emerge as the planet’s dominant species and we continue to depend on its bounty to thrive. Althought it is a essensial part of human life, a huflux people are lack of concern towards about healthy evironment. There are two main reasons causes, environment disconnections and the lure of technolog. Possible solution is to join in outdoor activities and build natural’s perpective landscaping. One of the reason people are ignoring the environment is that human connection to natural seems more tenuous than ever today. This is because many people tend to lead a busy life and after the long day at work it is better to relax at home instead of walking around the part. For instance, a study found that more than half of alduts reported spending five our or less in nature each week and being satisfied with this small amount of time spend outdoors. To tackle this issue, the federal widelife and park agencies should promote a wide varitiy of outdoor activities tailored to the interests of a board cross-sections of society. Therefore, adults and children will be introduced to nature as a place not only for outdoor experiences, but as the places that should be conserved cared for. Another problem to consider is that the increasing use of computer, smart phones, television pulling many people away from the natural world. As a result of development of technology, people are likely to expose to screen time. For example, parents of children 8 to 12 years old said that their children spend three times as many hours with computers and televisions each week as they do playing outside. To solve this problem, parents can teach the kid plant their favorite vegetables and flowers in reusable containers right by their favorite place to play instead of spending their time on computers. If this is implemented it would have positive on nature awareness and a reduction in using computer. In conclusion, ingoring the nature is increasing because of natural disconnection and high-tech development. Both parents and children should participant the outdoor activities and learn how to build the nature screen. Unless this issue is taken on, then the problem of natural ignorance will lead to a misunderstanding of natural’s perspective in the future.
It goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
provided the resources necessary for humans to emerge as the planet’s dominant
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
species and
we continue to depend on its bounty to thrive.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Althought
it is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
essensial
part of human life, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
huflux
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lack of concern towards about healthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
evironment
. There are two main reasons causes, environment disconnections and the lure of
Possible spelling mistake found.
technolog
. Possible solution is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
activities and build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
perpective
landscaping.

One of the reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ignoring the environment is that human connection to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
seems more tenuous than ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to lead a busy life and after the long day at work it is better to relax at home
instead
of walking around the part.
For instance
, a study found that more than half of
Possible spelling mistake found.
alduts
reported spending five our or less in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
each week and
being satisfied
with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoors
. To tackle this issue, the federal
Possible spelling mistake found.
widelife
and park agencies should promote a wide
Possible spelling mistake found.
varitiy
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
activities tailored to the interests of a board cross-sections of society.
Therefore
, adults and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
be introduced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
as a place not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
experiences,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as the places that should
be conserved
cared for.

Another problem to consider is that the increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer, smart phones, television pulling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
world.
As a result
of development of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to expose to screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, parents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
8 to 12 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
said that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours with computers and televisions each week as they do playing outside. To solve this problem, parents can teach the kid plant their favorite vegetables and flowers in reusable containers right by their favorite place to play
instead
of spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computers. If this
is implemented
it would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
awareness and a reduction in using computer.

In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ingoring
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
is increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
disconnection and high-tech development. Both parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should participant the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
activities and learn how to build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
screen. Unless this issue
is taken
on, then the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
ignorance will lead to a misunderstanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural’s
perspective in the future.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, many people do not realize how important the natural world is. Why is this How can people learn more about the importance of the natural world? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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