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Today, many people do not have time to spend with their families in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Today, many people do not have time to spend with their families in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this? e8L8A
Nowadays, most people in this modern world have less talk and time with their family  members. This is happened due to the busy life of individuals which caused by economic problems they tackle with. This essay cites a few causes and provides some solutions to alleviate this issue. The main reason for  this problem that many  parents have less communication and  timefor their children is their busy lives. These days, adults should work hard in order to provide well-fare for their families. For example, a  nuclear family, both father and mother might have a nine-to-five job in order to gain high revenue. On the one hand, there are always traffic jams in metropolitans, particularly in rush hours. So, parents are stuck on roads and spend  almost of their entire day for commuting. As a result, they have no time to communicate and do activity with their  children on weekdays, and at the weekend they want to spend their time to rest more than do any activity with their kids at home or outside. However, there are some solutions to make free hours to talk and play with their children. Firstly, using modern technology is might be the better way to spend more time remotely among family’s  members. Parents could manage some their free time during work  time to call and talk with their families. For instance, they could spend their lunch timecalling  to their kids in order to keep in touch with family and update their lives to each other. In addition, instead of spending all day in weekend to rest, parents should take their kids outside for doing some activities together and strike up family’s relationship such picnic In this way, childrenand their parents could spend their quality time with each other. In conclusion, economic situation and bustling lives are caused families to have less timeto spend with members. But there are some suggested ways to rectify it, suchas using modern technology to talk with family members or spending time with children in weekend more than resting to strike up family relationship.
Nowadays, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in this modern world have less

talk and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
members. This
is happened
due to the

busy life of individuals which caused by economic problems they tackle with.

This essay cites a few causes and provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to alleviate this issue.

The main reason for
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
this problem that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
 parents
have less communication

and
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Possible spelling mistake found.
timefor
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is their busy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. These days, adults should work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in order to

provide well-fare for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For example
, a
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
nuclear

family, both father and mother might have a nine-to-five job in order to gain

high revenue. On the one hand, there are always traffic jams in metropolitans,

particularly
in rush hours.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are stuck
on roads and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
almost of their entire day for commuting.
As a result
, they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to communicate and do

activity with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
 children
on weekdays, and at the

weekend they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to rest more than do any activity with their kids at home or

outside.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions

to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
free hours to talk and play with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, using modern

technology is might be the better way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
remotely
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
members.

Parents could manage
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their free" or "some free"?
some their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
 time
to call and talk with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For instance
, they could spend

their lunch
Possible spelling mistake found.
timecalling
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
to their

kids in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and update their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to each

other.
In addition
,
instead
of spending all day in weekend to rest,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take their kids outside for doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


activities together and strike up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
relationship such picnic In this way,
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrenand
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each other.

In conclusion
, economic situation and bustling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to have less
Possible spelling mistake found.
timeto
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with

members.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggested ways to rectify it,
Possible spelling mistake found.
suchas
using modern

technology to talk with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members or spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in weekend more than resting to strike up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship.
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IELTS essay Today, many people do not have time to spend with their families in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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