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Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?

Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development? kYxke
The reason(s) why kids spend more time on computer games is because you do not necessarily need to exercise any form of physical activities to play computer games. You can easily play a video game at the comfort of your home without considerations to climatic conditions; whether it rains or shines, it does not matter when you are playing video game. Video games do not always need two players. You can play the game alone. You can also play with two or more people. So, it gives users the opportunity to decide how they want to play. Another reason children spend time on computer game is because, you can just wake up from your sleep and pick your game pad and start off immediately. There are varieties of games you can chose from using computer game, so this create a lot of engagement among children. Video games can be played by almost anybody. You don't have to be physically strong or mentally intelligent to play video game because it has a simple interface with the users. The creation of video game in my opinion, create a negative effect on the children. Though, there are also positive impact on the children. But the negatives outweighs the positives. For example, children spends a lot of time on computer games these days and little time on their studies or sports. Sport is very good because it involves your whole body. Sport is a form of exercise which means that it is very healthy for children to be engaged in sporting activities. It is healthy for their overall well being. Sport also gives the children opportunity to develop team work because sport usually involves group of people playing as team against another group of people. Children involve in sporting activities mostly have good communication skill. Sport can be taken as a career in the future for these kids. It is important that parents should train their kids to cultivate habits to indulge in these games. For example, if the child love football, as a parents you should always take the child to outdoor activities that involve football. In this way, the child can develop his skill in playing football which may be useful for him especially if he is planning to take on career in sports. In conclusion, children should spend more time on sport instead of computer games because the benefits associated with sports is immense compare to just spending a lot of time in computer games which can be very unhealthy because it can lead to obesity (health wise) and distractions from school's activities - some children skip classes or do not have time to do homework given by their teacher because they spend more time playing computer games.
The reason(s) why kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you do not
necessarily
need to exercise any form of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. You can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game at the comfort of your home without considerations to climatic conditions; whether it rains or shines, it does not matter when you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
do not always need two players. You can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
the game alone. You can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with two or more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it gives users the opportunity to decide how they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
. Another reason
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computer game is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, you can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wake up from your sleep and pick your game pad and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off immediately. There are varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
you can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "choose"
chose
from using computer game,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
The verb 'create' is plural. Did you mean: "this creates"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
engagement among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
be played
by almost anybody. You don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
physically
strong or mentally intelligent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has a simple interface with the users.

The creation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game in my opinion, create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the negatives outweighs the positives.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
these days and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their studies or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
involves
your whole body.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
is a form of exercise which means that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
healthy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
be engaged
in sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. It is healthy for their
overall
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
also
gives the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
opportunity to develop team work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
involves
group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
as team against another group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
involve
in sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
mostly
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
can
be taken
as a career in the future for these kids. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that parents should train their kids to cultivate habits to indulge in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For example
, if the child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
football, as a parents you should always take the child to outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
involve
football. In this way, the child can develop his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
football which may be useful for him
especially
if he is planning to take on career in sports.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
instead
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the benefits associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is immense compare to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unhealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can lead to obesity (health wise) and distractions from school's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
skip classes or do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do homework
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS essay Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
457 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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