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Today it is common practice for many business meetings and business training to take place online. Do the advantages of this new development outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Today it is common practice for many business meetings and business training to take place online. Do the advantages of this new development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Online meetings and trainings for business are now becoming a trend. In my opinion, the drawbacks of practicing business meetings and training through the internet far outweigh its advantages due to the negative effects it brings to individuals and the society. Admittedly, there are some benefits of having business meetings and training online. Firstly, this setup allows easy and convenient transaction. This is due to the reason that online communication can now happen, anytime and anywhere, making it easier for businessmen to make the deals even internationally. Secondly, businesses that communicate online help internet companies to gain more profit. By utilizing the web in communicating business matter, there is also a higher usage of the internet, therefore increasing sales for the internet providers. Nevertheless, despite the benefits, the disadvantages of online business interactions are bringing more problems to individuals and society. One of the issues that people face because of the trending online business communication is its psychological effects. Many young entrepreneurs, for instance, are now socially awkward in face to face interaction because they are more used to interacting online. This has led to increase in the number of depressed and less confident individuals. Another negative impact of the use of internet in business, specifically for training, is that it produces ineffective trainees. Many details are missed during an online training session, which has become the main reason for making detrimental mistakes in the business process. As a result, many manufacturers and companies suffer loss of profit, affecting the society in a negative way. In conclusion, although there are some advantages in practicing online meetings and trainings for business, the negative effects that it brings to the individuals’ health and the economy of the society far outweigh it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming a trend. In my opinion, the drawbacks of practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
through the internet far outweigh its advantages due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects it brings to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and the society.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Firstly
, this setup
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
easy and convenient transaction. This is due to the reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
happen, anytime and anywhere, making it easier for businessmen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the deals even
internationally
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
that communicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to gain more profit. By utilizing the web in communicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
matter, there is
also
a higher usage of the internet,
therefore
increasing sales for the internet providers.

Nevertheless
, despite the benefits, the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
interactions are bringing more problems to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and society. One of the issues that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the trending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
communication is its psychological effects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young entrepreneurs,
for instance
, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
socially
awkward in face to face interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to interacting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. This has led to increase in the number of depressed and less confident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
specifically
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, is that it produces ineffective trainees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
are missed
during an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
session, which has become the main reason for making detrimental mistakes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
process.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
manufacturers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
suffer loss of profit, affecting the society in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
way.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages in practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects that it brings to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals’
health and the economy of the society far outweigh it.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Today it is common practice for many business meetings and business training to take place online. Do the advantages of this new development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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