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Today in many countries, people hold bigger and more expensive weddings than before. Is it a positive or negative development?

Today in many countries, people hold bigger and more expensive weddings than before. Is it a positive or negative development? awGq9
Marriage is an important day in everyone’s life. In today’s world hefty amount of wealth is spend in marriage functions. There shall be debate that presently families spend extra funds on wedding ceremony then in past in most of the countries. The essay shall contain pros and cons within it. Points related to it are elucidated in the below paragraphs. Firstly, it is seen that extensive amount spend in the wedding function is just to flaunt the wealth to the society. More expensive marriage is futile and wastage of money. It also affects the less affluent people and they starve to do same with loans. For example, as per the recent survey by TOI middle class family spends approx 60% more of their budgeted expense in wedding. Moreover, the same money should be given in charity for education which can curb illiteracy rate. On the other hand, wedding is special moment and day of memory for all the family and friends so it is enjoyed at fullest. People spend more money on foods and shelter for their welcomed guests. Presently, wedding planners are hired for the total management of the wedding including venue so that the main inviters can relish it with full fun. For instance, event manager handles all the function from the start to the end which makes you feel free from any interrupt. To sum up, wedding should be done for the enjoyment which can be memorized later on, but money should be spent in a determined and well planned way. One should not forget that extra non required expense brings obnoxious situation in future.
Marriage is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
day in everyone’s life. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world hefty amount of wealth is
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
in marriage functions. There shall be debate that
presently
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
extra funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
ceremony then in past in most of the countries. The essay shall contain pros and cons within it. Points related to it
are elucidated
in the below paragraphs.

Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that extensive amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
function is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to flaunt the wealth to the society. More expensive marriage is futile and wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. It
also
affects the less affluent
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they starve to do same with loans.
For example
, as per the recent survey by
Possible spelling mistake found.
TOI
middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
approx 60% more of their budgeted expense in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
.
Moreover
, the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in charity for education which can curb illiteracy rate.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
is special moment and day of memory for all the family and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
is enjoyed
at fullest.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on foods and shelter for their welcomed guests.
Presently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
planners
are hired
for the total management of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
including venue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the main inviters can relish it with full fun.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
manager
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
handles
all the function from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you feel free from any interrupt.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
should
be done
for the enjoyment which can
be memorized
later on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
in a determined and well planned way. One should not forget that extra non required expense brings obnoxious situation
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
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IELTS essay Today in many countries, people hold bigger and more expensive weddings than before. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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