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Space exploration; is it for everyone?

Space exploration; is it for everyone? BJKMV
Space exploration has been an exciting subject in the world. Humanity finds the universe and space amazing, and searching for new discoveries and mysteries of life itself and creating answers to things we cannot fully understand are, and have been of major importance throughout history. Space, and everything that comprehends it, fits into the unknown, and therefore, we find it exciting and timeworthy. Technology has been in constant development and every day, we find new discoverments and innovative creations. They are made for the amusement of society, entertainment, and more appropriately, for simplifying life and making progresses. A new generation of entrepreneurs believe that space tourism will be the next exciting development, and I couldn't agree more. Adventures are a way in which humans release stress, understand the world and find progress within themselves and within society; without them, life would be predictable and to some extent, boring. Therefore, visiting space is the ultimate adventure in our time. We have travelled across the world, we have cameras which capture every moment, but the common people most definitely have not travelled or even dreamt of visiting space. Who would have thought so, going outside the globe into the stars and galaxies. However, I believe it is going to be really expensive, and most people in the world would not be able to afford it. Maybe in the future, it would become accessible and easy as new technology emerges. At the moment, only rich and powerful people would be able to go, taking the excitement for the majority of the population.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
exploration has been an exciting subject in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Humanity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finds
the universe and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
amazing, and searching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
discoveries and mysteries of life itself and creating answers to things we cannot
fully
understand are, and have been of major importance throughout history.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
, and everything that comprehends it, fits into the unknown, and
therefore
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it exciting and
Possible spelling mistake found.
timeworthy
.

Technology has been in constant development and every day, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
discoverments
and innovative creations. They
are made
for the amusement of society, entertainment, and more
appropriately
, for simplifying life and making progresses. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation of entrepreneurs believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
tourism will be the
next
exciting development, and I couldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
more.

Adventures are a way in which humans release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
progress within themselves and within society; without them, life would be predictable and to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, boring.
Therefore
, visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is the ultimate adventure in our time. We have travelled across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, we have cameras which capture every moment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
most definitely have not travelled or even dreamt of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. Who would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, going outside the globe into the stars and galaxies.

However
, I believe it is going to be
really
expensive, and most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
would not be able to afford it. Maybe in the future, it would become accessible and easy as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology emerges. At the moment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rich and powerful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be able to go, taking the excitement for the majority of the population.
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IELTS essay Space exploration; is it for everyone?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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