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Today, humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do? v.2

Today, humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do? v. 2
Nowadays, more and more human activities destroy the ecosystem. While some ways in which governments can deal with this situation, individual people also can reduce the burden for our environment. There are several solutions that governments can implement to address the damaging to the environment. On the one hand, governments should enforce the laws to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide emissions, which are produced by daily human activities. For instance, over the last 10 years, the concentration of CO2 in the atmosphere increased dramatically by some sources such as vehicles, industrialization, and factories. On the other hand, local authorities also have to propose the rules to limit deforestation which is rising quickly in recent years. A quarter of acreage of forests in Vietnam, for example, dropped significantly in just two years from 2012 to 2014. Besides, individual people should support their governments to mitigate the pressure on our ecosystem. Firstly, they can hold some education and propaganda campaigns to raise awareness for other local inhabitants. Through these activities, they should explain the role of forests, ozone layer to our lives and the detrimental effects of the CO2 which affect not only the atmosphere and fresh air but also to the human respiratory system. Secondly, people can encourage the community to use reusable bags and recycle bottles instead of plastic and nylon which are building up not only on lands but also in oceans. For example, a majority of supermarkets in Vietnam are using bio-degeneration bags to carry goods for customers. In conclusion, although authorities have the responsibility to resolve the environmental problems, personal human also can help their governments to protect our ecosystem.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the ecosystem. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can deal with this situation, individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden for our environment.

There are several solutions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can implement to address the damaging to the environment. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should enforce the laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of carbon dioxide emissions, which
are produced
by daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities.
For instance
, over the last 10 years, the concentration of CO2 in the atmosphere increased
dramatically
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sources such as vehicles, industrialization, and factories.
On the other hand
, local authorities
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
propose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to limit deforestation which is rising
quickly
in recent years. A quarter of acreage of forests in Vietnam,
for example
, dropped
significantly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
two years from 2012 to 2014.

Besides
, individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to mitigate the pressure on our ecosystem.
Firstly
, they can hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
education and propaganda campaigns to raise awareness for other local inhabitants. Through these activities, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the role of forests, ozone layer to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and the detrimental effects of the CO2 which affect not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the atmosphere and fresh air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
respiratory system.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can encourage the community to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
reusable bags and recycle bottles
instead
of plastic and nylon which are building up not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on lands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in oceans.
For example
, a majority of supermarkets in Vietnam are using bio-degeneration bags to carry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for customers.

In conclusion
, although authorities have the responsibility to resolve the environmental problems, personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to protect our ecosystem.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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