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Today,good health is important among people.As the need for good health is growing the private health care is making use of their product to gain profit.Do you believe disadvantages outweigh advantages?

Today, good health is important among people. As the need for good health is growing the private health care is making use of their product to gain profit. Do you believe disadvantages outweigh advantages? k6meW
These days, living healthy and free from illness is vital among the society. The health care providers take advantage of their product for earning since the demand for health is growing. I believe that medical care should not be manage by profit-centered organizations thus, drawbacks has more effect that it's benefits. There are advantages of availing private health care: first, the waiting time is shorter due to the fact that they have few patients on the list. Second, they have advance and modern equipment to render quality care. To illustrate, some medical facilities are now adapting digital technology, instead of using paper chart, patients health records are now encoded into the computer system to easily access their files whenever they comeback for another treatment. Despite this, the necessity to have a good health has been exploited by the private health institutions for their own benefit. Their products are expensive however, the underprivileged could not afford it and only those wealthy are able to avail. Moreover, they promote inequality hence, only those who are willing to pay can get priority treatment. Furthermore, most patients could neither use their government issued health card nor ask for financial assistance from the social welfare because in the private facilities they do not accept these. On the contrary, the patient can have the privilege to seek medical attention if they have medical insurance from the private company. For example, I once was admitted in a private hospital, luckily I have availed an insurance from independent health company. To my surprise, they did not cover all my medical expenses, only discount from the purchased medicine and doctor's fee which I consider a huge setback in my health care fund. To conclude, I would therefore argue that although there are advantages of the current trend to avail products from the private health care, they are outweighed by the disadvantages. It is costly and cannot enjoy the benefits from the government.
These days, living healthy and free from illness is vital among the society. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
providers take advantage of their product for earning since the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is growing. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
should not be manage by profit-centered organizations
thus
, drawbacks has more effect that it's benefits.

There are advantages of availing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
:
first
, the waiting time is shorter due to the fact that they have few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
on the list. Second, they have advance and modern equipment to render quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
adapting digital technology,
instead
of using paper chart,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
records are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
encoded into the computer system to
easily
access their files whenever
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they comeback
for another treatment.

Despite this, the necessity to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
has
been exploited
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
institutions for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit. Their products are expensive
however
, the underprivileged could not afford it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those wealthy are able to avail.
Moreover
, they promote inequality
hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those who are willing to pay can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
priority treatment.

Furthermore
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
could neither
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
issued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
card nor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
financial assistance from the social welfare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
facilities they do not accept these.
On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
can have the privilege to seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
attention if they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
insurance from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For example
, I once
was admitted
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
hospital, luckily I have availed an insurance from independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. To my surprise, they did not cover all my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
expenses,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discount from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
medicine and doctor's fee which I consider a huge setback in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
fund.

To conclude
, I would
therefore
argue that although there are advantages of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend to avail products from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, they
are outweighed
by the disadvantages. It is costly and cannot enjoy the benefits from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay Today, good health is important among people. As the need for good health is growing the private health care is making use of their product to gain profit. Do you believe disadvantages outweigh advantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Today,good health is important among people.As the need for good health is growing the private health care is making use of their product to gain profit.Do you believe disadvantages outweigh advantages?