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Unemployment is a problem facing many countries today. Should the government and/or business take an active role in reducing unemployment? Discuss and provide reasons.

Unemployment is a problem facing many countries today. Should the government and/or business take an active role in reducing unemployment? Discuss and provide reasons. bbRDP
In this day and age, unemployment rate has quickly increased and became a top concern in several nations all over the world. It would be argued by some that only the government or businesses play a practical role in dwindling such problem. In my opinion, however, both should cooperate to give unemployment benefits. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why some believe that the government should be responsible for helping the unemployed enter the world of work. The first reason is that the administration conducts many strategies which have wide-reaching effects in society; moreover, having a huge national budget is also a factor contributing to this plan’s success. However, there are a great number of other social areas the government has to provide financial support for such as medical care service, environmental protection campaigns. Besides, others believe that such problem only is measured by businesses due to the fact that its leaders easily communicate and understand difficulties those without a job must encounter to make ends meet. They can hire many of the unemployed that directly reduce this situation effectively rather than the government. Nevertheless, millions of dollars must be spent on workers which is beyond of the companies’ ability. On the other hand, I would argue that the government and businesses should work together to find the best way to solve this issue. This is because it helps the unemployed not only look for a job to meet daily basic need but also avoid engaging in social evils thanks to government charity. Furthermore, as the unemployment decreases, economic development is seen that benefits both businesses’ sales and the whole of society. For instance, many private companies claimed after collaborating with national authority in carrying out a cutting-unemployment plan, its turnover boomed dramatically and a number of offenders in this neighborhood dropped to the lowest level ever seen. In conclusion, although some people think that the unemployment problem is only solved by the government or business, I personally believe that great effort from both can measure such issue.
In this day and age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
rate has
quickly
increased and became a top concern in several nations all over the world. It would
be argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
play a practical role in dwindling such problem. In my opinion,
however
, both should cooperate to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
benefits.

On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be responsible for helping the unemployed enter the world of work. The
first
reason is that the administration conducts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
strategies which have wide-reaching effects in society;
moreover
, having a huge national budget is
also
a factor contributing to this plan’s success.
However
, there are a great number of
Did you mean "others"?
other
social areas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
provide financial support for such as medical care service, environmental protection campaigns.
Besides
, others believe that such problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
is measured
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
due to the fact that its leaders
easily
communicate and understand difficulties those without a job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encounter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. They can hire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the unemployed that
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this situation
effectively
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Nevertheless
, millions of dollars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be spent
on workers which is beyond of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
’ ability.

On the other hand
, I would argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
should work together to find the best way to solve this issue. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the unemployed not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
look for a job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
daily basic need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
avoid engaging in social evils thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
charity.
Furthermore
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
decreases, economic development is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that benefits both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses’
sales and the whole of society.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
claimed after collaborating with national authority in carrying out a cutting-unemployment plan, its turnover boomed
dramatically
and a number of offenders in this neighborhood dropped to the lowest level ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
problem is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
solved by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, I
personally
believe that great effort from both can measure such issue.
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IELTS essay Unemployment is a problem facing many countries today. Should the government and/or business take an active role in reducing unemployment? Discuss and provide reasons.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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