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Today both the parents go out for work. Some people believe that the children are benefited from this additional income while others say that children lack their support

Today both the parents go out for work. Some people believe that the children are benefited from this additional income while others say that children lack their support Yywyj
In the modern era, it is often found that both parents work to earn a livelihood. Some people believe that this has a detrimental effect on children while others think that the sum of money can be advantageous for kids. Both the views will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are several benefits of both the parents working, the predominant one is that they are able to pay the high fees of esteemed educational institutes. For example, most of the top universities across the world, including Harvard University, charge above 50, 000 US dollars per student. Moreover, it helps to nurture the child 's talent in addition to fulfilling their basic needs as the parents have more flexible budget to pay the costs of their co-curricular activities along with their secondary demands. On the other hand, it might have an adverse effect on children as they might feel isolated in the absence of their parents. When both the parents go out to work, they lack time to spend with their kids due to which there are chances that children might indulge in the harmful activities like drugs and smoking. Although, the parents are able to afford good lifestyle for their children but they are unable to give desired attention and do not inculcate moral values in them. This leads to gap and strains in parent-child relationship. In conclusion, the heavy costs of educational organisations and increased demands of modern lifestyle has made it necessary for parents to move out and earn but at the same time, parents must not compromise with their crucial role in their children's life.
In the modern era, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
found that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
work to earn a livelihood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that this has a detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the sum of money can be advantageous for kids. Both the views will
be discussed
in upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several benefits of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
working, the predominant one is that they are able to pay the high fees of esteemed educational institutes.
For example
, most of the top universities across the world, including Harvard University, charge above 50, 000 US dollars per student.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to nurture the child 's talent
in addition
to fulfilling their basic needs as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have more flexible budget to pay the costs of their co-curricular activities along with their secondary demands.

On the other hand
, it might have an adverse effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they might feel isolated in the absence of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. When both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
go out to work, they lack time to spend with their kids due to which there are chances that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might indulge in the harmful activities like drugs and smoking. Although, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are able to afford
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lifestyle for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are unable to give desired attention and do not inculcate moral values in them. This leads to gap and strains in parent-child relationship.

In conclusion
, the heavy costs of educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and increased demands of modern lifestyle has made it necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out and earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not compromise with their crucial role in their children's life.

IELTS essay Today both the parents go out for work. Some people believe that the children are benefited from this additional income while others say that children lack their support

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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