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Prevention is better than cure. Do you agree or disagree? For sick people, few things are

Prevention is better than cure. For sick people, few things are N8lyg
For sick people, few things are more important than treatment. In many developed and developing countries, a lot of money is spent on treatment. Because, treatment, in most cases, may require a number of resources. What is really required; however, I think, is prevention is better than cure. According to some studies of recent decades in many developed countries like Japan, USA, UK and Canada, it has been shown that in most cases, people avoid treatment. Because they find it too difficult though it is not well-established to everyone. Moreover, treatment requires a big amount of money. So, it is not restricted to rich people who have the money for treatment; people who represent poor socio-economic status, on the other hand, experience financial barrier and cannot do it due to lack of accountability, as well as would be less successful in treatment. As a result, treatment can create a gap between rich and poor people. Naturally treatment in the form of development is very important for sick people. Because it can create such facility of life standard which is not available from other sources. It can be very significant for a nation as well. Besides that, most people including me in this media based world have no doubt that treatment prevents people, especially sick people, from death. It is clear, therefore, that it is a good idea for people to take an interest in prevention. As a result, people will feel better as well as physical development will be ensured.
For sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, few things are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
. In
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
many


developed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money
is spent
on

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
treatment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
,
in most cases
, may require a number of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
resources
. What is
really
required;
however
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, is prevention
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
better
than cure.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies of recent decades in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed

countries like Japan, USA, UK and Canada, it has
been shown
that in most

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
cases
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they find it too difficult
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
though


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is not well-established to everyone.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
requires a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
big
amount of money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is not restricted to rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have the

money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who represent poor
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
status,

on the other hand
, experience financial barrier and cannot do it due to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lack
of accountability,
as well
as would be less successful in treatment.

As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
can create a gap between rich and poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Naturally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
in the form of development is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for sick

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it can create such facility of life standard which is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
not


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
available
from other sources. It can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant for a nation
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
as


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
well
.
Besides
that, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including me in
Did you mean "these"?
this
media based
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
world


have no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
sick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,

from death.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
,
therefore
, that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take an interest

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
prevention.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will feel better
as well
as
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
physical


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
development
will
be ensured
.
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IELTS essay Prevention is better than cure. For sick people, few things are

Essay
  American English
23 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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