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To sum up, no matter how important friends are, family is the basis of everything.

To sum up, no matter how important friends are, family is the basis of everything. gxxdL
Classmates can make a human, a king or a jester. As everyone sees in their own life, a class in high school is very successful in lessons, another class is mischievous, each class has a certain characteristic. In my opinion, peer education is seriously important for self-improvement because friends can change people’s mindsets, but the education which the families are giving their kids is more important than anything else for a child’s success. First of all, the choice of friends is very important during school because friends influence a person’s behavior and decisions during school. For instance, if the whole class expect one smokes, the non-smoker is probably starting smoking. In addition, if 80% of a class is hardworking and 20% is lazy, there will be a change from lazy to hard working. Nevertheless, there are children who do not have good friends but are successful with the education they receive from their families. What's more, family education directly influences the choice of friends. Secondly, the first education is given by family and this is truly critical for every child's success. Morality, the perception of good-bad is established with this education. Moreover, friends can’t destroy these perceptions and if the education is well given by the family the child can’t be affected by their friends. Furthermore, since the family will be a role model for the child, the child of a well-educated family will also want to be successful. To sum up, no matter how important friends are, family is the basis of everything. The family is the key to both our education and our personality.
Classmates can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a human, a king or a jester. As everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in high school is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful in lessons, another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is mischievous, each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
has a certain characteristic. In my opinion, peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
seriously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for self-improvement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s mindsets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are giving their kids is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than anything else for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
success.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
during school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
influence a person’s behavior and decisions during school.
For instance
, if the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
one smokes, the non-smoker is
probably
starting smoking.
In addition
, if 80% of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is hardworking and 20% is lazy, there will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from lazy to
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
.
Nevertheless
, there are children who do not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are successful with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they receive from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. What's more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
directly
influences the choice of friends.

Secondly
, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and this is
truly
critical for every child's success. Morality, the perception of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
is established
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
these perceptions and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can’t be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Furthermore
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will be a role model for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
of a well-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will
also
want to be successful.

To sum up, no matter how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the basis of everything. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the key to both our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and our personality.
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IELTS essay To sum up, no matter how important friends are, family is the basis of everything.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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