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To improve road safety there should be more severe punishments for drivers who break the rules. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To improve road safety there should be more severe punishments for drivers who break the rules. VrKPD
It is argued that drivers who are against the regulations should be charged with the highest penalties to reduce road accidents. In my point of view, I somewhat agree because strong punishments can make drivers more heedful to be safe on roads and can also solve some traffic problems, however; there should be such kinds of penalties for careless commuters as only drivers cannot be accused of responsibility. The first reason why I believe that imposing harsh punishments on drivers who do not follow the protocols can avoid the danger is because these can significantly change careless behaviours of drivers. Due to the fact that most accidents are due to the lack of attention from drivers, there may be strong sanctions on dangerous behaviours like phone calls and listening to music that disturb drivers’ attention while driving. Besides, drinking and eating snacks while driving should be prohibited since these may also lead to unsafe roads. In some countries, as proof, as the government imposes a strong law on the carelessness of drivers, this results in a significant decline in traffic accidents. Another reason why I support that rule breakers should be punished with high penalties is because it is likely to reduce some traffic problems. On account of following disciplines on roads, there may be the potential to decrease traffic jams. Conversely, the responsibility to enhance road safety is related not only to drivers but also travellers. Although drivers pay full attention to driving, it may cause dangerous accidents due to the carelessness of travellers. To illustrate, as travellers wear headphones, listening to music, they may not see the upcoming danger. For this reason, travellers should be charged with harsh penalties if they break the disciplines. In conclusion, I partially agree that drivers who break the law should be sentenced with high penalties to ensure safe travel for everyone. This is because road accidents are mainly caused due to the falseness of drivers and partially by heedless commuters.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who are against the regulations should
be charged
with the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. In my point of view, I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
strong punishments can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
more heedful to be safe on
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roads
and can
also
solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems,
however
; there should be such kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
for careless commuters as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
cannot
be accused
of responsibility.

The
first
reason why I believe that imposing harsh punishments on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who do not follow the protocols can avoid the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these can
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
careless
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the fact that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the lack of attention from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
, there may be strong sanctions on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
like phone calls and listening to music that disturb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers’
attention while driving.
Besides
, drinking and eating snacks while driving should
be prohibited
since these may
also
lead to unsafe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, as proof, as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
imposes a strong law on the carelessness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
, this results in a significant decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.

Another reason why I support that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
breakers should
be punished
with high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems. On account of following disciplines on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, there may be the potential to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams.

Conversely
, the responsibility to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety
is related
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
pay full attention to driving, it may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the carelessness of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
. To illustrate, as
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
wear headphones, listening to music, they may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the upcoming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
For this reason
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
should
be charged
with harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
if they break the disciplines.

In conclusion
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who break the law should
be sentenced
with high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
to ensure safe travel for everyone. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are
mainly
caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the falseness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
and
partially
by heedless commuters.
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IELTS essay To improve road safety there should be more severe punishments for drivers who break the rules.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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