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Describe a change that you would like to see in your local area

Describe a change that you would like to see in your local area dqVnX
The change that I’d like to see in my local neighbourhood is the pedestrianisation of the main shopping street in the town centre. I’d like to see traffic diverted around this area in order to make it safer and more attractive for visitors and shoppers. Most of the traffic that clogs up the main street is just passing through the town, but it’s the local people who have to put up with the congestion, noise and pollution. It’s the job of the local council to make changes like the one I’m suggesting. But before the council does anything, there usually needs to be some pressure from local people to bring a problem to light. So, perhaps we need a campaign by local residents who want to see this change. Then the council might contract a town planner or an architect to come up with some possible designs for a new road system. I’m not sure how exactly the process of creating a pedestrian street would work, but I imagine that it would require detailed planning. Perhaps a bypass would need to be built around the town centre first. This would give drivers a faster alternative to driving through the town, and it would allow the main shopping street to be blocked off and pedestrianised. I’d like to see this change because it would really improve the quality of life of residents in the town where I live. I can imagine the new pedestrian street having cafes and restaurants with outdoor seating. It would be a safer and more pleasant place for families to go shopping, and I’m sure this would have a positive knock-on effect on local shops and businesses.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
that I’d like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
is the

Possible spelling mistake. 'pedestrianisation' is British English.
pedestrianisation
of the main shopping street in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. I’d like to

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
traffic diverted around this area in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it safer and more

attractive for visitors and shoppers. Most of the traffic that clogs up the main

street is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
passing through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to


put up with the congestion, noise and pollution.

It’s the job of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
council to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
like the one I’m suggesting.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the council does anything, there
usually
needs to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


pressure from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to bring a problem to light.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, perhaps we need

a campaign by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. Then the council

might contract a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
planner or an architect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible

designs for a new road system.

I’m not sure how exactly the process of creating a pedestrian street would

work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I imagine that it would require detailed planning. Perhaps a bypass

would need to
be built
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
first
. This would give drivers a

faster alternative to driving through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, and it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the main

shopping street to
be blocked
off and
Possible spelling mistake. 'pedestrianised' is British English.
pedestrianised
.

I’d like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life

of residents in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. I can imagine the new pedestrian street

having
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
and restaurants with outdoor seating. It would be a safer and

more pleasant place for families to go shopping, and I’m sure this would have

a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
knock-on effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops and businesses.
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IELTS essay Describe a change that you would like to see in your local area

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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