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describe one of your favourite festivals in your country.

describe one of your favourite festivals in your country. OgPE3
Christmas is an annual holiday that, in Christianity, commemorates the birth of Jesus Christ. Popular customs of the holiday include gift-giving, music, an exchange of greeting cards, church celebrations, a special meal, and the display of various decorations; including Christmas trees, lights, nativity scenes, and holly. In addition, Father Christmas (known as Santa Claus in some areas) is a popular figure in many countries, associated with the bringing of gifts for children. Over the Christmas period, people decorate their homes and exchange gifts. In some countries, children perform plays re-telling the events of the Nativity, or sing carols that reference the event. Christmas, along with Easter, is the period of highest annual church attendance. A special Christmas family meal is an important part of the celebration for many, and what is served varies greatly from country to country. In England and countries influenced by its traditions, a standard Christmas meal includes turkey, potatoes, vegetables, sausages and gravy, followed by Christmas pudding, mince pies and fruit cake.
Christmas is an annual holiday that, in Christianity, commemorates the birth

of Jesus Christ.

Popular customs of the holiday include gift-giving, music, an exchange of

greeting cards, church celebrations, a special meal, and the display of

various decorations; including Christmas trees, lights, nativity scenes, and

holly.
In addition
, Father Christmas (known as Santa Claus in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas)

is a popular figure in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, associated with the bringing of gifts for

children.

Over the Christmas period,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decorate their homes and exchange gifts.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, children perform plays re-telling the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of the Nativity,

or sing carols that reference the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. Christmas, along with Easter, is the

period of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
annual church attendance.

A special Christmas family meal is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the celebration for

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, and what
is served
varies
greatly
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In England

and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
influenced by its traditions, a standard Christmas meal

includes turkey, potatoes, vegetables, sausages and gravy, followed by

Christmas pudding, mince pies and fruit cake.
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IELTS essay describe one of your favourite festivals in your country.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
166 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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