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To get success, some people say that university education is essential while others don't find this true in today's scenario.

These days, being a successful person in the modern world has become a trending topic in society. Some people opine that attending university is a pathway that drives to achieve their goals. Whereas, other people do not believe in this opinion. This essay will explore and discuss bot views. Firstly, some people argue that University is the perfect place to gain not only personal skills, creative ideas, but also obtain problem-solving abilities. They believe that those who have been attending formal education have high intellectual ability, creativity and ability to socialize with other people who comes from different cultural backgrounds and social classes. Furthermore, syllabus and curriculum that used to teach in universities are provided by pedagogical experts. Therefore, attending a formal school is essential for students to obtain personal skills. Moreover, it is undeniable that being a success is not only graduating from the top world universities or formal education, yet self -study, time management, and focus might lead people to achieve their goals. These ideas can be reasonable in the era of techno-savvy, because many successors have no university certificates, yet they become a top leader and businessmen due to their focus and hardworking, for example, Thomas Edison who found electric light bulb. In addition, in the modern world technology and information can be the greatest source for those who do private business without academic certificates. Technology creates a job opportunity for those who have creative ideas, for example, many YouTubers becoming rich due to entertain their natural talent on the internet. In conclusion, in my opinion, attending formal education can lead students to succeed because schools create and shape students’ intellectualities and abilities in many ways, compared to establishing an individual business without gaining knowledge in the university.
These days, being a successful person in the modern world has become a trending topic in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a pathway that drives to achieve their goals.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not believe in this opinion. This essay will explore and discuss bot views.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is the perfect place to gain not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
obtain problem-solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
. They believe that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have been attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
education have high intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
, creativity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to socialize with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean “come”? Alternatively, check whether the singular of ‘people’ should be used.
comes
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultural backgrounds and social classes.
Furthermore
, syllabus and curriculum that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to teach in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are provided
by pedagogical experts.
Therefore
, attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
school is essential for students to obtain personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Moreover
, it is undeniable that being a success is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
graduating from the top world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
education,
yet
self -study, time management, and focus might lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to achieve their goals. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
can be reasonable in the era of techno-savvy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
successors have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
certificates,
yet
they become a top leader and businessmen due to their focus and hardworking,
for example
, Thomas Edison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
found electric light bulb.

In addition
, in the modern world technology and information can be the greatest source for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do private business without academic certificates. Technology creates a job opportunity for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
YouTubers becoming rich due to entertain their natural talent on the internet.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
education can lead students to succeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
schools create and shape students’
Possible spelling mistake found.
intellectualities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, compared to establishing an individual business without gaining knowledge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
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IELTS essay To get success, some people say that university education is essential while others don't find this true in today's scenario.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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