Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some people believe that it is important for children to attent extra classes outside school.While other believe that they should be allowed to play after school.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Without any doubt, society is divided into two groups as per the distinct mindset of different people. Therefore, it has become a debateable issue whether students have to join additional courses after schools or needs to spend their spare time for playing. This essay will not only discuss the both preceptions but also my point of view will be elaborated in the conclusion. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad things to be shared in its favour. First of all, attending extra academic classes aid students with their study. Some children are not able to understand properly whatever they taught at school and need an extra help. Moreover, outside classes helps them with revisions of their subjects and preprations of class tests. Consequently, school goers get excellent marks which definitialy create better job opportutities in future. For an example, If a student is week in math, attending mathematics tution after school will help him to clarify his concepts, as in schools teachers do not have much to provide extra attention to every kid. What is more, joining non academic classes such as music learning, painting, singing can also be beneficial for future. Taking interest in such activities adds extra skill in student resume and many student chose theres as their profession in future. Moving toward thesecond argument of this debate, those who opine that free time after school should be used to play have their own reasons. Firstly, it is undeniable that playing best for health. These days due to the technological advancement juveniles lost their interest in outdoor play due to which faces numerous problems such as obesity. Playing outside with friends or family not only improve their physical health but make them mentaly strong. Add few more reasons, how can one forget about that games release the stress. Vast majority of students are tackling with study burden, result strains nowdays, playing outside in the nature make them cheer and they feel relaxed and benefits in better concentration towards studies. A recent survey conducted by a "National Times " shows that children who goes to playgrounds after school are tend to learn more quickly than who like to be couch potato. To sum up, In my opinion both approach has their own advantages. However, childhood is a very crucial part of life and comes only once, therfore it is important to enjoy it with friend or family and games are the best option for children to enjoy.
Without any doubt, society
is divided
into two groups as per the distinct mindset of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, it has become a
Possible spelling mistake found.
debateable
issue whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
additional courses after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
or needs to spend their spare time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
. This essay will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discuss the both
Possible spelling mistake found.
preceptions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
my point of view will
be elaborated
in the conclusion.

To commence with the
first
notion, there are myriad things to
be shared
in its
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with their study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
children are not able to understand
properly
whatever they taught at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and need an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
Moreover
, outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them with revisions of their subjects and
Possible spelling mistake found.
preprations
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
goers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
excellent marks which
Possible spelling mistake found.
definitialy
create better job
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportutities
The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?
in future
. For an example, If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is week in math, attending mathematics
Possible spelling mistake found.
tution
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to clarify his concepts, as in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
teachers do not have much to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
attention to every kid.
What is more
, joining
This expression is normally spelled as one or with a hyphen.
non academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
such as music learning, painting, singing can
also
be beneficial for future. Taking interest in such activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
resume and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
chose
Possible spelling mistake found
theres
as their profession
The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?
in future
.

Moving toward
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesecond
argument of this debate, those who opine that free time after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons.
Firstly
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
best for health. These days due to the technological advancement juveniles lost their interest in outdoor play due to which faces numerous problems such as obesity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
outside with friends or family not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their physical health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
Possible spelling mistake found.
mentaly
strong.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Add
few more reasons, how can one forget about that games release the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are tackling with study burden, result strains
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowdays
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
outside in the nature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cheer and
they feel relaxed and benefits in better concentration towards studies. A recent survey conducted by a
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
National Times
Don’t put a space on both sides of a quote symbol.
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that children who
Did you mean “go”? Alternatively, check whether the singular of ‘children’ should be used.
goes
to playgrounds after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are
Consider using either the past participle “tended” or the present participle “tending” here.
tend
to learn more
quickly
than who like to be couch potato.

To sum up, In my opinion both approach has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages.
However
, childhood is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial part of life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
once,
Possible spelling mistake found.
therfore
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to enjoy it with friend or family and games are the best option for children to enjoy.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay some people believe that it is important for children to attent extra classes outside school. While other believe that they should be allowed to play after school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
410 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts