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Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Nowadays most of the youth are looking for adventurous tasks rather than mundane life, which may lead to death penalty. I completely agree that these activities should be prohibited by making the people aware of its risks. However, though most of the people are aware of risks, they are still getting involved as a result of social media. The prime factor that these sports are to be removed from the society is that the people lose their lives or left handicapped for rest of their life before evaluating their potentiality. Though most of the people are trained for the popularity or the adrenaline rush or for excitement or to earn money, the other side of coin is being ignored. However these are to be discouraged and steps are to be taken by government and other higher authorities to avoid youth from participating in it. For instance the government has taken an initiative to remove the bull fight in Spain after the result of many lives lost over the last ten years. Althought the initiatives are taken for certain tasks, the youth are still instigated due to the social media to kickoff life-risk tasks. There are public television series encourage the participants to include in those sports for their personal benefits. On one hand the youngsters want to increase their popularity in less span of time, on other hand the danger awaits them. Altogether, the high physical demanding tasks are not to be entertained by social media and the action is to be taken by respective application administrators to avoid those to make in public and take appropriate action on those who made them online.
Nowadays most of the youth are looking for adventurous
tasks
rather
than mundane life, which may lead to death penalty. I completely
agree
that these activities should
be prohibited
by making the
people
aware of its
risks
.
However
, though most of the
people
are aware of
risks
, they are
still
getting involved
as a result
of social media.

The prime factor that these sports are to
be removed
from the society is that the
people
lose their
lives
or
left
handicapped for rest of their life
before
evaluating their potentiality. Though most of the
people
are trained
for the popularity or the adrenaline rush or for excitement or to earn money, the other side of coin is being
ignored
.

However
these are to
be discouraged
and steps are to
be taken
by
government
and other higher authorities to avoid youth from participating in it.
For instance
the
government
has taken an initiative to remove the bull fight in Spain after the result of
many
lives
lost over the last ten years.

Althought
the initiatives
are taken
for certain
tasks
, the youth are
still
instigated due to the social media to kickoff life-
risk
tasks
. There are public television series encourage the participants to include in those sports for their personal benefits. On one hand the youngsters want to increase their popularity in less span of time, on other hand the
danger
awaits them.

Altogether, the high physical demanding
tasks
are not to
be entertained
by social media and the action is to
be taken
by respective application administrators to avoid those to
make
in public and take appropriate action on those who made them online.
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IELTS essay Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. with this view?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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