Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

To bring happiness a man can buy what he wants by paying money, however, there are many things for satisfaction that cannot purchasable even after making himself as a millionaire.

To bring happiness a man can buy what he wants by paying money, however, there are many things for satisfaction that cannot purchasable even after making himself as a millionaire. pRjD0
To bring happiness a man can buy what he wants by paying money, however, there are many things for satisfaction that cannot purchasable even after making himself as a millionaire. I want to delve into the matters in this discussion. On the one hand, people can make their life convenient with purchase a new car, flat, new dress or going out to relax. It gives a man plenty of opportunities to eliminate the tension or boringness he is suffering from. Moreover, by spending a person can get intangible service also and relieve from the misery, sometimes it may necessitate doing surgery or need to take steps any other critical medical procedure. All of are require a lot of money. I know one of my relatives who spends a lot of money going abroad for a few days of relaxation every year when he feels bore in his workplace. On the other hand, there are so many factors that can make people happy rather than having enough cash. Sometimes we found some people in our surroundings who are rich but they are not happy in their personal life. It proves that to be happy money is not everything. I know a person who left his prestigious good-paid job due to it taking more time and joining a relaxed job to manage a time for acquiring knowledge in his interest area. To sum up, although funds play an important role to face the demand, there may have also a lot of choices that can make feel happy rather than keeping money.
To bring happiness a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what he wants by paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things for satisfaction that
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
cannot purchasable
even after making himself as a millionaire. I want to delve into the matters in this discussion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life convenient with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a new car, flat, new dress or going out to relax. It gives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of opportunities to eliminate the tension or
Possible spelling mistake found.
boringness
he is suffering from.
Moreover
, by spending a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
intangible service
also
and relieve from the misery,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it may necessitate doing surgery or need to take steps any other critical medical procedure.
Consider using "All are" or "All of the are".
All of are
Consider using a past participle here: "required".
require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. I know one of my relatives who
Did you mean "spend"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'relatives' should be used.
spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
going abroad for a few days of relaxation every year when he feels bore in his workplace.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
rather
than having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
cash.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
we found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in our surroundings who are rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in their personal life. It proves that to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not everything. I know a person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
his prestigious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-paid job due to it taking more time and joining a relaxed job to manage a time for acquiring knowledge in his interest area.

To sum up, although funds play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to face the demand, there may have
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
choices that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
rather
than keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay To bring happiness a man can buy what he wants by paying money, however, there are many things for satisfaction that cannot purchasable even after making himself as a millionaire.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • To bring happiness a man can buy what he wants by paying money, however, there are many things for satisfaction that cannot purchasable even after making himself as a millionaire.