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Thsome people think that all university student should study

Thsome people think that all university student should study jQ8rL
Some people believe that it is better to allow university students to freely choose whatever they wanted to study, however a large number of people side against this and think students should only be allowed to study in fields which will be useful and effective in the future like science and technologyfields. There are some advantages and also some disadvantages in both condition but I should declare that I am partially disagree with this statement which I will talk about it in the following paragraphs. First of all these days there is not some limited subjects which guaranteed the future but choosing any field of study needs lots of passion, interest and enthusiasm and can be achieved just via free will and personally decision and also a great deal of attempts. Furthermore, these compulsory determination pressure from parents and teachers can leads to a irrecoverable mental condition for students and consequently they leave university in advance. On the other hand, it is completely vital to maintain and offer a reliable and operational consult to students so they can choose their future path with wide eyes and bright minds. Otherwise they probably blame their parents for not being so rational about choosing their study subjects. In conclusion, it is important to consider students’s interest and passion for choosing their future field of study but leading them to consult with an expert can have more optimal results. I believe forcing them to choose a number of subjects related to science and technology is not a wise intension and results in disaffection for education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
freely
choose whatever they wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
however
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
side against this and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in fields which will be useful and effective in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
like science and
Possible spelling mistake found.
technologyfields
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages in both condition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I should declare that I am
partially
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with this statement which I will talk about it in the following paragraphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
these days there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limited subjects which guaranteed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
choosing any field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
needs lots of passion, interest and enthusiasm and can
be achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
via free will and
personally
decision and
also
a great deal of attempts.

Furthermore
, these compulsory determination pressure from parents and teachers can leads to
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
irrecoverable mental condition for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
consequently
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
university in advance.

On the other hand
, it is completely vital to maintain and offer a reliable and operational consult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
path with wide eyes and bright minds.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
they
probably
blame their parents for not being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rational about choosing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
subjects.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider
Did you mean "student’s" or "students’"?
students’s
interest and passion for choosing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
leading them to consult with an expert can have more optimal results. I believe forcing them to choose a number of subjects related to science and technology is not a wise
Possible spelling mistake found.
intension
and results in disaffection for education.
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IELTS essay Thsome people think that all university student should study

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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