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This essay will elaborate on contributors to such an issue and as well as the benefits and drawbacks of this problem.

This essay will elaborate on contributors to such an issue and as well as the benefits and drawbacks of this problem. KlOyM
The past few decades have witnessed an unprecedented altering of the structure of a family and the role of its members. This essay will elaborate on contributors to such an issue and as well as the benefits and drawbacks of this problem. There is a multitude of reasons behind the new shift in the family in modern society. Firstly, the standpoint of traditional family has been broken. To clarify, life becomes improvement and individuals are also more open-minded, so they choose the way that make them most comfortable and best. For example, in the past, a family consisted of father, mother, and their children, however trend of women choosing become single-mom is gradually increasing. Secondly, the duties of members in the family is not similar before, due to the gender equality is promoted which make roles of women and man likable. For instance, the females is likely to become breadwinners when they go to outside earn money, whereas the males can stay home to take care of their children and do household chores. Therefore, in lieu of constraining by traditional concepts, people can be unattached built their little family in their own ways. From my personal perspective, I am convinced that there are both the pros and cons of this transformation. On the one hand, the woman raising her children herself may have devastating impact on them which prevents them have comprehensive development. It can be explained that they have no love from both sides of mom and dad, which leads to lacking of affection. As a result, they are like to mental illnesses such as vulnerability and inferiority. On the other hand, this change brings to the certain plus point when women's position in the family is respected. To clarify, wives can be free to do what they are loved and share financial burdens with their husbands without being restrained by antiquated opinion. Consequently, the value of a woman is recognized by society, resulting in happiness for them. In conclusion, I believe that the development of contemporary society lead to changing the standard of the normal family. If people put it in different circumstances, it will provide certain merits and demerits.
The past few decades have witnessed an unprecedented altering of the structure of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and the role of its members. This essay will elaborate on contributors to such an issue and
as well
as the benefits and drawbacks of this problem.

There is a multitude of reasons behind the new shift in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in modern society.
Firstly
, the standpoint of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has
been broken
. To clarify, life becomes improvement and individuals are
also
more open-minded,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they choose the way that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them most comfortable and best.
For example
, in the past, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
consisted of father, mother, and their children,
however
trend of women choosing
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to become"
become
single-mom is
gradually
increasing.
Secondly
, the duties of members in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is not similar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, due to the gender equality
is promoted
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
roles of women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
likable.
For instance
, the females is likely to become breadwinners when they
There isn't usually a preposition before "outside". Did you mean "go outside"?
go to outside
earn money, whereas the males can stay home to take care of their children and do household chores.
Therefore
, in lieu of constraining by traditional concepts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
be unattached
built their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways.

From my personal perspective, I
am convinced
that there are both the pros and cons of this transformation. On the one hand, the woman raising her children herself may have devastating impact on them which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them have comprehensive development. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that they have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from both sides of mom and dad, which leads to lacking of affection.
As a result
, they are like to mental illnesses such as vulnerability and inferiority.
On the other hand
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
brings to the certain plus point when women's position in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is respected
. To clarify, wives can be free to do what they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
and share financial burdens with their husbands without
being restrained
by antiquated opinion.
Consequently
, the value of a woman
is recognized
by society, resulting in happiness for them.

In conclusion
, I believe that the development of contemporary society lead to changing the standard of the normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
put it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
circumstances, it will provide certain merits and demerits.
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IELTS essay This essay will elaborate on contributors to such an issue and as well as the benefits and drawbacks of this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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