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There are several contributing factors to such wipeout, and a multitude of proposal

There are several contributing factors to such wipeout, and a multitude of proposal Aw1wN
The past few decades have witnessed an unparalleled number of the animal species on the verge of dying out, which is attributable to human greed. There are several contributing factors to such wipeout, and a multitude of proposals to mitigate this problem. To begin with, a multitude of culprits behind the extermination of numberous wild species. Firstly, logging might significantly sabotage to terrestrial species. To clarify, the devastation of their natural habitats which lead to resulting in shelter disappearing and food becoming depleted. In addition, the overhunting land brings to commercial and medicinal purposes, however it also wreak havoc on the animals. For example, number of rhino species is decreasing because of hunting and taking their horns illegally. Secondly, in the sea, the discharge of effluents such as sewage, liquid waste of companies and industrial zones, result in water contamination. Consequently, marine wildlife have to live in the toxic enviroment, which make them became weaken and even die. Simultaneously, drilling in search of fossil fuels such as gas and oil happens continuously at the bottom of the ocean, thereby making narrow the living environment of marine creatures. It can explained that, pelagic wildlife have to move another place to live and this project will have a large number of dead animals. As a result, the natural habitats of animals have been damaged, make pelagic wildlife on brink of extinction. There are several immediate actions that individuals could take to tackle the problems described above. Firstly, a strict quota on hunting, waste disposal, and logging should promulgate by the government. If people exceed such quotas, they can be heavy fines or even prison sentences. Hence, this stringent regulation can put a curb on activities which aggravate the habitats of animals. Secondly, waste treatment plants should be erected and carry out well their duties. To clarify, waste treatment before it is released into the environment can avoid environmental polution. Therefore, guaranteed living environment of creatures helps them have good conditions to live and diversity biologies. Finally, the government should make rules about drilling in search to prevent illegal mining or overexploitation. This contribute to protect the enviroment of animals. In conclusion, I believe that animals on the verge of dying out by human practies, so the government have to action quickly to prevent this occur.
The past few decades have witnessed an unparalleled number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species on the verge of dying out, which is attributable to human greed. There are several contributing factors to such
Possible spelling mistake found.
wipeout
, and a multitude of proposals to mitigate this problem.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a multitude of culprits behind the extermination of
Possible spelling mistake found.
numberous
wild species.
Firstly
, logging might
significantly
sabotage to terrestrial species. To clarify, the devastation of their natural habitats which lead to resulting in shelter disappearing and food becoming depleted.
In addition
, the overhunting land brings to commercial and medicinal purposes,
however
it
also
Did you mean "wreaks"?
wreak
havoc on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
, number of rhino species is decreasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of hunting and taking their horns
illegally
.
Secondly
, in the sea, the discharge of effluents such as sewage, liquid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and industrial zones, result in water contamination.
Consequently
, marine wildlife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the toxic
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them became weaken and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
Simultaneously
, drilling in search of fossil fuels such as gas and oil happens
continuously
at the bottom of the ocean, thereby making narrow the living environment of marine creatures. It can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "explain"
explained
that, pelagic wildlife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
another place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and this project will have
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
dead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
As a result
, the natural habitats of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have
been damaged
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
pelagic wildlife on brink of extinction.

There are several immediate actions that individuals could take to tackle the problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above.
Firstly
, a strict quota on hunting,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
disposal, and logging should promulgate by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
exceed such quotas, they can be heavy fines or even prison sentences.
Hence
, this stringent regulation can put a curb on activities which aggravate the habitats of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
treatment plants should
be erected
and carry out well their duties. To clarify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
treatment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
is released
into the environment can avoid environmental
Possible spelling mistake found.
polution
.
Therefore
, guaranteed living environment of creatures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conditions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and diversity
Possible spelling mistake found.
biologies
.
Finally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
about drilling in search to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
illegal mining or overexploitation.
The verb 'contribute' is plural. Did you mean: "This contributes"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This contribute
to protect the
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
of animals.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on the verge of dying out by human
Possible spelling mistake found.
practies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
action
quickly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
The verb 'occur' is plural. Did you mean: "this occurs"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this occur
.
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IELTS essay There are several contributing factors to such wipeout, and a multitude of proposal

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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