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Some people believe hosting international sports will good while others say its bad discussi and give opinion

Some people believe hosting international sports will good while others say its bad discussi and give opinion rGEa2
Sports plays indispensable role in growth of personal and national. By advent of technology world has became global village, as a result product, education and game expanded to another nation also. While conducting international games nation can make good profit and many benefits also. However, society polarized into two different groups where one group believed hosting international sports has good for the nation while rest adverse it. Everyone has distinct mindset and their merits and demerits. In ensuing paragraph i will discuss both and take my side at the end of it. To begin with first and foremost notion that international event and their hosting plays pivotal role in development fo respective nation. As global games cross their original nation border direct or indirectly both nation will remain in profit. Hosting countries will get huge foreign currency and hence, by utilizing it in proper way country can give strength to their economy. As an epitome to this scenario there is an example that America, conducted many international eve like FIFA football or Olympic, and that boosted there economy. Secondly, hosting international events will build good relations will other countries. Many people will get employment which is good for eradication of poverty. Many talented people will get chances to show there talent. On other hand, thousands of people believe that in hosting in international sports needs high security in success as a result sometimes government compromises with actual problems facing by the country. If something miscalculation happens in security it will reflect as a detrimental for nation for example, in 2007, some gun holders made a gunfire over Sri Lankan cricket team. As a result many world countries has mitigate there tour to Pakistan for playing sports. In conclusion, although there are some detrimental sides of hosting international sports moreover advantages of hosting outweigh the disadvantage and hence, I believe hosting international sports will beneficial for each nation.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "Sport plays" or "Sports play".
Sports plays
indispensable role in growth of personal and national. By advent of technology world has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
global village,
as a result
product, education and game expanded to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
also
. While conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "games'" or "game's"?
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
profit and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits
also
.
However
, society polarized into two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
groups where one group believed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
while rest adverse it. Everyone has distinct mindset and their merits and demerits. In ensuing paragraph
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss both and take my side at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with
first
and foremost notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
plays pivotal role in development
Possible spelling mistake found.
fo
respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. As global games cross their original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
border direct or
indirectly
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
will remain in profit.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
huge foreign currency and
hence
, by utilizing it in proper way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can give strength to their economy. As an epitome to this scenario there is an example that America, conducted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
eve like FIFA football or Olympic, and that boosted there economy.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
will build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relations will other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for eradication of poverty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
there talent.

On other hand, thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
needs high security in success
as a result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
compromises with actual problems facing by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. If something miscalculation happens in security it will reflect as a detrimental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
for example
, in 2007,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gun holders made a gunfire over Sri Lankan cricket team.
As a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has
Use past participle here: "mitigated".
mitigate
there tour to Pakistan for playing sports.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
moreover
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
outweigh the disadvantage and
hence
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will beneficial for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe hosting international sports will good while others say its bad discussi and give opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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