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this and that this and that

this and that this and that gbe9O
At present times, parents spend huge sums of money on their child's education. Extra classes are becoming increasingly popular for supplementary studies of a child and hence parents organize such tuition for their siblings after the school and at weekends. In my honest opinion, such tuition do not play a significant role in the child's learning. As parents are greatly concerned about the education of their offsprings, they do everything that is possible from their side. In this process, extra classes have vastly influenced their brains. However, such classes are meant only for the students who are weak in studies and not for everyone. Parents probably lack this understanding and thus end up organizing expensive tuition for their children. Additionally, if the students give their time to self-studies, they would not need such tutoring. Therefore, it is not worthwhile organizing extra classes for students. Nowadays, due to advent of technology, almost all of the schools provide advanced facilities like interactive and digital classrooms and these features allow the students to grasp the concept with great ease. The concepts taught at school is certainly sufficient for a student's knowledge. The information which is provided in the school is appropriate for a child whereas in ancillary classes some additional information may be introduced to the pupils which result in enigma among the students. For instance, a majority of tuition classes issue complex and advanced concepts to the pupils so that the children have a clear idea about the entire theory. Nevertheless, such explanations have no effect on the trainee's knowledge. Overall, the teachings supplied by the schools are enough for the knowledge of a tutee. In conclusion, although extra classes might help a few students, it is not necessarily true that it will assist all the trainees. Hence, it is not essential for the the parents to arrange extra classes for their siblings because the teachings issued at schools are sufficient.
At present times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spend huge sums of money on their child's education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are becoming
increasingly
popular for supplementary studies of a child and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
organize such tuition for their siblings after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and at weekends. In my honest opinion, such tuition do not play a significant role in the child's learning.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
greatly
concerned about the education of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
, they do everything
that is
possible from their side. In this process,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
have
vastly
influenced their brains.
However
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are meant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are weak in studies and not for everyone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
probably
lack this understanding and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up organizing expensive tuition for their children.
Additionally
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
give their time to self-studies, they would not need such tutoring.
Therefore
, it is not worthwhile organizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
for students.

Nowadays, due to advent of technology, almost
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide advanced facilities like interactive and digital classrooms and these features
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to grasp the concept with great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. The concepts taught at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
certainly
sufficient for a student's knowledge. The information which
is provided
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is appropriate for a child whereas in ancillary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
additional information may
be introduced
to the pupils which result in enigma among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
, a majority of tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
issue complex and advanced concepts to the pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the children have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the entire theory.
Nevertheless
, such explanations have no effect on the trainee's knowledge.
Overall
, the teachings supplied by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for the knowledge of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutee
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it is not
necessarily
true that it will assist all the trainees.
Hence
, it is not essential for
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to arrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
for their siblings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the teachings issued at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are sufficient.
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IELTS essay this and that this and that

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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