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How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?

How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting? 0logl
Community would be influenced by the development of the remote work. I consider that it will put positive effects on the society in the future. In this essay, I will elaborate the reasons of the above mentioned notion in the forthcoming paragraphs. To begin with, causes of the aforementioned statement. primarily, telecommuting will increase the bond among people in the society because individuals can spend more time with their family members as well as their neighbors through it, as workers will not need to spend their ten hours of a day in their office far from their dear ones. Due to this, they will be able to enjoy their precious time with neighbors and family while doing a job at their home. For example, in western countries, people have started adopting this trend. Owing to this, they have been capable to distribute their time between personal and professional life. As a result, it will be beneficial for society to make strong bonding among individuals. Furthermore, remote jobs are cost effective. So, people will not need to travel daily for their work purposes which will help them to save their money from their annual salary because of lack of travelling. They will utilize this money on their other households chores. For instance, poor women with less money will save their few wage while doing work from home. Hence, it will helpful for ordinary man to prevent their saving from travel expenditure. To conclude, it is true that telecommuting will affect the society positively because it will allow to people to save time and money.
Community would
be influenced
by the development of the remote work. I consider that it will put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in the future. In this essay, I will elaborate the reasons of the above mentioned notion in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, causes of the aforementioned statement.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
primarily
, telecommuting will increase the bond among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
individuals can spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family members
as well
as their neighbors through it, as workers will not need to spend their ten hours of a day in their office far from their dear ones. Due to this, they will be able to enjoy their precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with neighbors and family while doing a job at their home.
For example
, in western countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
adopting this trend. Owing to this, they have been capable to distribute their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between personal and professional life.
As a result
, it will be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strong bonding among individuals.

Furthermore
, remote jobs
are cost
effective.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not need to travel daily for their work purposes which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their annual salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of travelling. They will utilize this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on their other households chores.
For instance
, poor women with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will save their
Possible agreement error. The noun wage seems to be countable; consider using: "few wages".
few wage
while doing work from home.
Hence
, it
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will helpful
for ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their saving from travel expenditure.

To conclude
, it is true that telecommuting will affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
positively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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